All societies have their hot-button issues. Here in the US it might be immigration, minimum wage, health care or a number of other things. Whatever the topic, however, these hot-button issues share the commonality that they are not usually topics brought up in casual conversation with people we do not know well. People learn that society functions more smoothly when we don’t discuss one of these issues in the process of going for a dental checkup or picking up our dry cleaning.
Nevertheless, because these issues are often not discussed openly and widely and do not affect everyone, they often fester under the surface – breeding resentment and frustration for many. Nationally, it often seems as though there is little we can do to change this situation. One encouraging fact, however, is that since the economy has worsened to the degree it has and affected so many people, we now find it a widespread enough problem that we can easily discuss this topic with relative strangers – with individuals voicing what they feel might help without offense or anger.
All marriages have their hot button issues. They might be finances, children, in-laws or several other topics, but married people all too often learn that things go more smoothly when we don’t discuss finances over the breakfast table or the in-laws as we drive off on vacation. But because these issues are so often argued about, then swept under the rug as acknowledged hot-button issues, they may linger at the back of our minds and bring resentment and frustration.
The answer, however, is always to talk these things through. The time and place need to be chosen carefully, and ground rules should always be agreed upon before the discussion begins. We especially need to be able to agree that mutual respect trumps any individual issue and we need to be able to agree to disagree, to find compromise, to work together as much as possible. Unlike national hot-button issues which may only affect certain groups or be championed by them, family hot-buttons affect everyone in the family and need bilateral, husband and wife cooperation.
The good news is that even though our national economic problems are far from solved, we have learned to talk about them and in many cases to focus on what can be done about those problems in areas where improvement might be possible. For marriages, this principle is even better news. By acknowledging the problems and talking about them, we have hope of improvement. The essential point is that we need to learn to talk about – and work to defuse our family hot-buttons rather than ignoring them or pressing them. That’s not only how bomb disposal works, but also how marriages grow.
“Imitation is not just the sincerest form of flattery – it’s the sincerest form of learning.”
― George Bernard Shaw
The word “imitation” often has a negative connotation – whether we think of imitation designer clothes that don’t look as good as the real items, imitation coffee or milk that doesn’t taste as good as the real thing, or many other examples. Usually, the imitation is just not as good as the thing imitated, but there is one type of imitation that is perfectly acceptable – in fact desirable: when God Himself is involved in the process of imitation.
Check out this week’s article “Are you an Imitation?” on the Tactical Living page to see how God is making imitations and how you can get in on the plan!
All the Gospels tell the story of Jesus casting the money changers and animal sellers from the temple. It’s a powerful story. As you remember, when He found people keeping animals in the temple and making profit in various ways He reacted dramatically. He overturned the tables of those who changed the common Greek and Roman money for Jewish coins (which were acceptable for Temple offerings) and used a whip to drive out the animals and birds being sold there (for sacrifices), saying: “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” (John 2:16).
The picture painted in the Gospels is clearly one of Jesus displaying righteous anger at the way in which the temple was being polluted and commercially used, and at least one modern portrayal of the story depicts Jesus as seeing the situation and flying into a sudden and furious anger. It may be easy to imagine it that way, but the Gospels actually show that nothing could be further from the truth. Mark’s account is particularly interesting in that it gives us extra information which shows that Jesus did not just act with natural impulsive anger, but with a controlled anger based on prior thought.
Alone of the Gospels, Mark adds this fascinating detail to the temple cleansing narrative. After his humble but triumphant entry into Jerusalem, as recorded by the other Gospel writers, Mark tells us that “Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts. He looked around at everything, but since it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the Twelve” (Mark 11:11). Then Mark continues, “The next day … On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple courts and began driving out those who were buying and selling there” (Mark 11:12-15). It is clear from Mark’s addition that Jesus must have already seen the sellers and money changers in the Temple courts, but He chose to return to Bethany for the night – doubtless thinking and praying about what He had seen – before returning the following day to cleanse the temple.
Jesus’ driving out of the animals and the money changers and salesmen was clearly the opposite of hasty, impulsive anger, and John’s Gospel adds yet a further detail that also shows this. “In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts…” (John 2:14-15). The Greek indicates that the “whip” used by Jesus was made from the rushes used as the bedding for the animals and also indicates that he “plaited” the whip – combining multiple rushes into a serviceable whip – something that would have taken some time. Once again we see that unlike the common picture of Jesus seeing the money changers and instantly driving them out in great anger, when He did return to the temple He actually took time to plait or weave the whip he used. So Christ’s behavior in this circumstance was the opposite of rushing to anger and provides a clear lesson for us. Even in the most justifiable instances of provocation, we need to think and pray about how we should respond (James 1:19-20). Rather than rushing to anger, we too need to take the time to figuratively plait the rushes.
One of the very encouraging things about running a website such as TacticalChristianity.org (or our sister site, LivingWithFaith.org) is seeing the web traffic – people coming to the site from all around the world.
Our site receives visits from people as geographically far apart, for example, as the United States and Russia, the United Kingdom and Pakistan, Dubai and Zanzibar. It’s good to think that although we are so scattered around the world, we are friends in the faith. Many people may log on from areas where they have fellowship with Christian friends, others doubtless come to the site from areas where they feel alone as Christians and without that same feeling of friendship in the faith. If you are in this latter category, realize that we think about you and that you do have friends here and around this world. Although you may not see tangible connections any more than you can see the internet connections, they are there and you have friends at TacticalChristianity.org and among our readers everywhere.
We certainly welcome all of you coming to the site from distant areas – we think of you as our Russian friends, Zanzibar friends, or friends wherever you are, and want you to feel just as much a part of the site as our friends here in the United States. If you have suggestions for material that would be helpful to you in your own circumstances, don’t hesitate to leave a comment at the end of this post. We’ll be glad to provide needed subjects in the postings and articles as much as we are able. That’s what friends are for!
“At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian Regiment. He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly. One day at about three in the afternoon he had a vision. He distinctly saw an angel of God, who came to him and said … “Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God” ( Acts 10:1-4).
Two aspects of Cornelius’ faithful walk before God are shown in these verses – twice over: his generous gifts to the poor and his prayer. Now I can’t prove it, but given the fact of Cornelius’ evident concern for those with needs, the final verse in this section of scripture makes me think he was praying for the poor as well as giving to the poor. If that’s the case, I’m sure that the poor were not all Cornelius prayed about, but in any case, the story of this centurion reminds us that prayer and giving are both important in helping others and in learning the spirit of true giving ourselves. Just as we can give without concerned prayer, we can pray without actual giving, and in either case our concern is limited as well as our effectiveness.
This is a point the apostle James makes so clearly in his Epistle: “Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? (James 2:15). It’s a vital combination: we should not speak without doing. James doesn’t suggest that our words of comfort are not important, just that they should not be alone. This applies as much in terms of our words spoken in prayers, of course, as it does in our direct relations with others.
The Book of Acts shows us that Cornelius understood the importance of both speaking and doing. He reminds us of that other centurion who told Jesus “… just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it” (Matthew 8:8-9). Both centurions understood the relationship between speaking and doing, both understood that speaking of itself is not enough. But while the one story stresses what God does as a result of our requests, the other story stresses what we should do as a result of our requests. Words and deeds are always interrelated, in prayer as in other areas of Christian life, and the more we remember that, the more we can accomplish.
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