Seeing Behind Life’s Black Patches

Seeing Behind Life’s Black Patches

Sometimes God speaks to us …. despite everything.

Matthew sat alone in his cell staring at the letter.  Imprisoned in a country not friendly to Christianity, Matthew (not his real name) was kept in relative isolation, and the only contact he had with the outside world was in the form of occasional heavily censored letters he was allowed to receive from his family. The letters had any words of encouragement – especially scripture quotations – completely covered over by the heavy black markers of the government prison censors.

In the long months Matthew had been imprisoned he had come to deeply resent those patches of blackness that cut him off from the love of his family.  Until today.  Now, Matthew looked at the patches of black obscuring much of the latest letter he had received and smiled.  Matthew was a happier man.

The truth of the situation had dawned on Matthew like a personal revelation. He had come to see that the black marks and patches on his letters did not obscure his family’s love for him – they highlighted it.  He saw that every obscuring black mark was not a denial of the love felt for him, but proof of it.  Sometimes he could guess that there was a scripture behind the blackness from quote marks not obscured at the beginning or end of the marking. If the censors blacked out words individually he could guess from a short word blacked out after the quote marks that it was probably the reference to a quoted verse in Psalms, which his family knew was his favorite book of the Bible. Very occasionally, if he held the letter up to what light he had, he could make out faint traces of what was written and have some idea of what was being said  to him.

As time progressed, Matthew came to resent the black marks less and less. Sometimes he would take out a letter and just look at the marks, because he knew that behind them was the love of his family, and understanding what lay behind the black marks – even though he could not see through them – sustained Matthew until he was eventually released.

Sometimes, when we go through the trials of life, it’s hard to see God’s love for us.  We may even come to resent the black marks and clouds of life: the illnesses, job losses, persecutions, or whatever seems to obscure God’s love and concern for us.  But if we learn to view them as we should, we can come to see behind the black patches in our lives.   On occasion we may be able to make out the writing of loving correction in things that go wrong (Hebrews 12:6), but this is not always the case and often, like Job, we may see that we are being given an opportunity to learn or grow. But, again like Job, we don’t always see God for the storm – until we realize we are being taught something and we hear the voice of God speaking through the dark clouds (Job 38:1) or through the dark patches that seem to come between us and him. 

In fact, if we come to see the black patches of life as we should, we realize that once we have committed ourselves to God, we can know that his love is always behind them even if we do not see it clearly (1 Corinthians 13:12).  We can remember that every dark patch of life, although it might seem to obscure God’s love,  in reality is being used to teach, guide, and form us or to help others in some way. We come to realize that the black patches of life do not deny Gods’ love for us; they actually affirm that it is there. 

Fire Your Inner Lawyer!

Fire Your Inner Lawyer!

There is a very cynical saying that you can get through life with just two things – a good memory and a good lawyer.  The fallacy of that saying is evident in every life made miserable by divorce, lost friendship and broken business arrangements – to name only three examples – where both a  good memory and a good lawyer were involved.

The truth is, although there is a place for right legal counsel and representation, it doesn’t always work – and a “legal” opinion can sometimes hurt you. This applies on the personal psychological level, also.  Everyone grows up with what we might call an “inner lawyer” – and it’s a defense attorney.  We all have such a lawyer – an unscrupulous one – deep within ourselves, no matter how good our overall intentions may be. You may not remember hiring the lawyer within you, but that “lawyer” is certainly there and is always on call at a moment’s notice. 

Remember the last time you made a dumb mistake and when you were challenged by someone about it, you had an almost instant answer or excuse? That was your inner lawyer talking.  Remember the last time you debated whether you should do something that wasn’t really right, but you came up with some pretty good reasons why you should do it anyway? That may well have been counsel from your inner lawyer.  

Our human nature just naturally learns to defend itself in some of the ways a lawyer might defend us.  Human nature will  tell itself it’s not to blame for something, or even blame a situation on others.  It will tell us that a  thought, word or deed is not that bad – especially if it is OK in the letter of the law – because no one can keep the law perfectly, right? (You may have noticed that inner lawyers can quote scripture.)  But just as the Gospel of Luke tells us:  “… the Pharisees and the lawyers rejected the purpose of God for themselves …” (Luke 7:30 ESV),  although our inner lawyer’s arguments may sound good, they really are at odds with what  God is trying to accomplish in and for us.

Unfortunately, as a result, we will never grow spiritually or find real transformation as a Christian as long as we retain that inner lawyer.  Psychologists may call what we are talking about  “self-justification,” but it helps to think of the process as an inner lawyer because this makes it easier to spot the manner in which it works.   Whenever possible we need to take time to think before we let that inner lawyer speak – and what’s more, when  the inner lawyer does start to wrongfully justify us, we need to be willing to fire him or her on the spot. It’s a kind of representation we really don’t need and are better off without.  This is easier said than done, because we can fire the inner lawyer today and still have him or her show up again tomorrow – or even later today.    It may take time to make this a habit, but if  we want to really make progress in our Christian lives, to paraphrase Shakespeare, perhaps the first thing we need to do is fire all our inner lawyers.