Sadly, ours is an age in which restraint is becoming increasingly rare and anger is increasingly common. Each day brings news stories of uncontrolled and unleashed anger in the home, in the workplace, and in incidents of “road rage” and other forms of violent anger. The verbal and physical expression of anger has become so common that it is almost an accepted fact of life. Perhaps this is to be expected in societies where far greater stress is placed on not bottling up emotions and freely expressing them rather than on learning to control them – and this is especially true when it comes to restraint in what we say.
The result is unbridled speech that regularly leads to broken families and relationships – and even to assaults and homicides. When the Bible tells us that “the tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21), it is not exaggeration – which is why Jesus firmly instructed his followers “I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment … anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Matthew 5:22). Here, Jesus was not speaking of simply experiencing the emotion of anger – which is not wrong in itself as the apostle Paul showed when he wrote “Be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26 CSB; etc.) or, as the NLT renders this verse, “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Rather, Jesus was speaking of unrestrained anger that leads to exactly the kind of verbal abuse – or worse – that we see so often today.
Even if, as Christians, we do not exhibit unrestrained anger to the degree Jesus spoke of, we all need to restrain our speech and the Bible emphasizes this continually. For example, the book of Proverbs tells us “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (Proverbs 10:19 ESV). And in the New Testament, James tells us “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry … Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:19–20, 26).
So how do we restrain our speech? Because most of us speak with others daily, we can and should pray for help with this on a regular basis. As David wrote “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3), and that is a prayer we can all pray. But we also have the responsibility to do what we can in this regard, and there are a number of strategies – habits of restraint– that we can develop. For instance, sometimes we need to simply ignore things that would almost certainly arouse anger. Thinking of insults or other verbal provocations as pits or traps to be avoided can often help us to defuse anger before it has a chance to flare. This may not be easy for some of us, but it is always possible.
If we do get involved in a verbal disagreement and feel anger rising, the old advice of counting to ten before answering can often give us time to remember the need for restraint. And we need to continually remind ourselves that when we do answer, we should do everything we can not to escalate the situation because “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). This takes work. A “gentle answer” involves multiple words, whereas an answer that makes matters worse need only be a single word!
Sometimes the best strategy is simply hat of silence. As David tells us in the Psalms: “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.” (Psalm 39:1). David realized that there were times when he needed to be particularly careful (“while in the presence of the wicked”), and his caution at these times sometimes went as far as “I remained utterly silent, not even saying anything good” (vs. 2). In most of the circumstances we may not need to remain totally silent, but David’s example is a powerful one of a person going to whatever lengths are necessary in order not to be drawn into unrestrained speech.
These examples of things we can do are all basic strategies, but in reality that is all it takes to utilize restraint. The problem is not that the solutions are basic, but that we do not utilize them often enough. Yet when we do, they are almost always effective – the smallest strategy can change the course of our conversations and steer us away from angry speech. As James wrote: “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go” (James 3:3–4). James uses these analogies to describe the tongue, of course, because left alone our tongues will steer us; but if we consciously begin to utilize strategies of restraint, we will find that we can and do steer our tongues and words in the right direction and can begin to use their power for good.
Restraint in our speech then becomes like the line in the center of the highway – holding us back from potentially hurting ourselves and others. Sometimes it is the blanket we throw on the flames of anger, saving us or others from certain hurt. But we all need to utilize restraint by developing, remembering, and using strategies that suppress and control the anger that can so quickly get out of control in the human mind.
Excerpted from our free e-book The Power of Speech: The Potent Force that Every Christian Is Called to Use Wisely! Download a free copy here.
As Christians, we know the Bible says we must have endurance (Hebrews 10:36; etc.), and that it is the one who endures to the end who will be saved (Matthew 10:22; 24:13; etc.). Many of us tend to think of endurance as something that is primarily in the future – we may wonder if we will still be enduring next week, next month, next year, or at the end of our lives. But the New Testament shows endurance is not really about the future, it is about now.
The apostle James wrote, “when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing” (James 1:2–4*). Notice that James says the testing of our faith is what is happening now – our faith isn’t tested next month or next year – it is tested by what we are going through now. The trials we undergo now produce endurance that gets us through the now – making enduring till the end possible.
We see the same truth regarding the present nature of our endurance in what the apostle Peter wrote: “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while” (1 Peter 1:6).
That was the attitude that helped Jesus endure the agonies of his crucifixion: “Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne” (Hebrews 12:2).
Jesus “endured” the cross, but we can learn from his example that to endure is more than just somehow continuing – it is continuing unbroken, just as we were before the suffering began. If the Son of God had not endured those awful hours unchanged, but had given up and stopped trusting and being obedient to God, or if he had been negatively changed by the suffering to an attitude of bitterness or anger against his tormentors, he would not have succeeded and would not have accomplished salvation for all of us. Once again, we see the focus on enduring is in the present – not being changed as we suffer, but enduring by keeping the future in mind.
Endurance is one day at a time, and when necessary one hour at a time, but it is always now, and it is always achieved through holding onto a future hope. The apostle Paul put all this in perspective when he wrote: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment” (Romans 5:3–7).
Of course, simply enduring suffering does not produce spiritual endurance, only suffering that is endured with faith in God’s wisdom and ultimate healing or help – the hope that Paul says “does not lead to disappointment.”
So, when we face trials and difficulties, it helps to realize that endurance is not something that stretches on indefinitely. We only have to endure now, in this moment of time. We need not be concerned about whether we will make it though the next week, month, or year. The only day God encourages us to endure is today, because he will help us to the future if we endure with his help in the now.
*Scripture quotations in this article are taken from the New Living Translation.
“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8–9).
There are two ways we can respond to the trials that invariably affect all of us as we go through life. We can resent them and remain forever damaged by them, or we can come out from under them and even be renewed by them. The Japanese art of kintsukuroi (“golden repair”) or kintsugi (“golden joinery”) provides a physical illustration of that choice.
According to legend, the art commenced when the Japanese shogun Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a cracked precious Chinese tea bowl back to China to be repaired. Upon its return, the ruler was displeased to find that it had been mended by means of unsightly metal staples. Japanese craftsmen working for the shogun sought to find an alternative and more pleasing method of repair, and the art or craft of kintsukuroi was born.
Kintsukuroi means “golden repair” because the art restores broken pottery with resin mixed with powdered gold or silver so that instead of attempting to camouflage the break lines they are actually accentuated – being enhanced and beautified by the precious repair material. Thus, kintsukuroi celebrates imperfections as a valid and important aspect of damaged objects – something to be understood as part of their history rather than something to be disguised. In this way, objects that have suffered damage become not less, but more beautiful and more imbued with character.
At the spiritual level, we all have the opportunity to look at the damage we accrue, the “hits” we take in life, in the same way. We can look at them only in terms of the spiritual scars and damage done, or we can look at the trials we go through as part of a process of re-creation in which the end result is better than the original state. That is why the apostle Peter wrote: “you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6–7). Peter’s reference speaks of something far above the kintsukuroi application of gold to purely physical things, and that while the process of remaking may be similar, the formative trials we endure lead to something of far greater value.
That is why the apostle James similarly wrote: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2–4). In fact, the word “complete” that James uses in this passage is the Greek holoklēros which means complete in all its parts and without damage or defect – like a perfectly repaired vessel that is improved by the process of repair.
In the same way, although God allows us to undergo trials in this life that may seem destructive in the short term, in the long term the master potter who formed us is also the master of the golden repair. That is why we can rejoice – not in the trials that come on us, but on their outcome if we choose to let God work with and in us. And that is why, if we choose to do so, we can always say with the apostle Paul “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8–9).
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ… For each one should carry his own load” (Galatians 6:2, 5).
At first sight, the apostle Paul’s comments that we should bear one another’s burdens and bear our own load might seem to be contradictory – especially in the King James and some other translations which use the word “burden” in both verses 2 and 5. In fact, sceptics have often pointed to these verses in Galatians as supposed evidence of contradictions within the Bible. Apart from the fact that it is highly unlikely that Paul would not know he was contradicting himself if this were the case, there is an important reason why these verses say what they do.
When Paul says that we should bear one another’s burdens in Galatians 6:2, the word “burdens” is translated from the Greek baros, which means literally a “weight,” or figuratively, “something that is oppressive” and which weighs us down. The burden can be physical or psychological – it can be a spiritual, emotional, or mental burden just as much as a physical one.
In Galatians 6:5 the word phortion that Paul uses is a slightly different one – though it still refers to a burden of some kind. The major difference is that this word seems to apply to burdens that cannot be transferred to others – they are burdens that we must somehow carry ourselves.
The different words Paul used show that he had something different in mind in these two verses, and that the ideas are not contradictory. In verse 2 Paul clearly refers to the willingness we must all have to help those who need help. That is why he continues in the latter part of that verse by saying “and so fulfill the law of Christ” – the law of loving others as ourselves. But in verse 5 Paul is referring to the other side of the coin – reminding us that it is our responsibility to bear our own burdens as much as we are able (2 Thessalonians 3:10–12; etc.). In saying this, Paul shows that his instruction to bear the burdens of our neighbors cannot be used to condone the lazy or conniving who would attempt to be supported by taking advantage of others.
What sceptics do not seem to understand is that Galatians 6:2 and 6:5 do not represent conflicting commands. It is possible for Christians to both bear their own burdens, while at the same time helping to bear the burdens of others. Paul is emphatic that we all must do what we can, but when a person is in true need he is equally emphatic that we have a responsibility to help them. But the two can be – and often are – simultaneous. At the crucifixion of Christ, after an agonizing beating and whipping, Jesus needed the help of someone to carry his cross (Matthew 27:32), but even as he accepted this help he was bearing the sins of others (1 Peter 2:24).
Paul’s two statements are no different from those found in the book of Proverbs that tell us: “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes” (Proverbs 26:4–5) – rather than being contradictory, the two statements apply to different aspects of a situation. Galatians 6:2–5 makes it clear that every Christian is called to share the burdens of others, yet at the same time to take responsibility for the things that God has called them to carry themselves.
But we should never see this situation as a negative one. God promises to help each of us to bear even the burdens we must carry (Matthew 11:28–30; etc.), and he gives us all the opportunity to gladly help others with the same outgiving of love that he shows in helping us. As David tells us, “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens” (Psalm 68:19).
The Bible clearly teaches that sin causes suffering (Deuteronomy 11:26-28; etc.), but does that mean all suffering is caused by sin – as some claim? Even sincere people who are committed to doing what is right can sometimes wonder if they are at fault when things do not go well for them – or even judge others who are experiencing ongoing problems.
There is no question that we do often bring suffering upon ourselves. We all recognize that if we break certain health principles, for example, we will probably suffer as a result. First Peter 4:15 also tells us, “If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler” – showing that wrongful behavior of many types can lead to self-induced suffering.
However, that’s not the whole picture. It was the limited understanding of Job’s friends in this regard that caused them to presume he must have done something wrong to be experiencing such pain and misery. But the conclusion of the book of Job shows God’s displeasure with those friends and that Job’s suffering was not really caused by wrongdoing at all (Job 42:7-9).
There is, in fact, a great deal of biblical evidence to show that individuals can and often do suffer as a result of circumstances beyond their control that have nothing to do with their righteousness or lack thereof. Sometimes we suffer as a result of sheer chance. Jesus himself confirmed this in what he told his disciples when they asked about people who had suffered because of political upheaval or physical accidents:
“Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no! … Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no!” (Luke 13:2-4).
Jesus continued to explain that such extreme cases should remind us of the uncertain nature of life and the need to repent, if we have not already done so; but he was adamant in stressing that such suffering may be the result of chance rather than sin.
In other cases, the Bible makes it clear that illnesses and other difficulties come upon us and are used by God to ultimately help us – as in the case of the apostle Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9) – so this suffering can hardly be seen as being the result of failure on the part of others or ourselves.
There is another section of Scripture, not so well known, that can also encourage us that suffering need not be equated with God’s displeasure. The prophet Jeremiah was given a vision by God regarding the people of Judah – both those who had been carried into captivity in Babylon, and those who had not. In this vision, the people in captivity were symbolized as a basket of good figs, and those who were not taken captive as a basket of bad figs. God then told Jeremiah:
This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘Like these good figs, I regard as good the exiles from Judah, whom I sent away from this place to the land of the Babylonians. My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
‘But like the bad figs, which are so bad they cannot be eaten,’ says the LORD, ‘so will I deal with Zedekiah king of Judah, his officials and the survivors from Jerusalem, whether they remain in this land or live in Egypt. I will make them abhorrent and an offense to all the kingdoms of the earth, a reproach and a byword, a curse and an object of ridicule, wherever I banish them. I will send the sword, famine and plague against them until they are destroyed from the land I gave to them and their ancestors.’ (Jeremiah 24:5-10)
From the perspective of those who had escaped captivity, it may have been natural to think that those who had been deported and were now suffering captivity were still the objects of God’s displeasure. In actuality, the opposite was true. Those who had suffered deportation were spared a later, more thorough, destruction and – despite their present suffering – were now closer to God and his favor than those who had not suffered, but who would eventually be punished.
We find scriptures such as these throughout the Bible – showing time and again that suffering is not a sure sign of God’s displeasure. Suffering that comes upon us may happen as a result of time and chance, the actions of others, or simply genetics. The Scriptures warn us to be sure, whenever possible, that we do not suffer as a result of our own foolishness (Psalm 107:17, etc.), and if we find ourselves experiencing ongoing problems, it is always a good idea to reflect on our lives to see if some of those problems are self-induced (Ecclesiastes 7:14). But we should never simply presume that suffering experienced by us or by others is self-caused.
If suffering does come, we should strive, like Job, to trust that God has a purpose in what he allows us to experience. As the apostle Peter assures us: “the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).
Hezekiah is often remembered as the best king in the checkered history of the divided monarchy of Judah and Israel. While a great many of the successors of David and Solomon turned from true worship to the pagan religions of the nations around them, Hezekiah is remembered for his faith and faithfulness:
“He trusted in the LORD, the God of Israel, so that there was none like him among all the kings of Judah after him, nor among those who were before him. For he held fast to the LORD. He did not depart from following him, but kept the commandments that the LORD commanded Moses. And the LORD was with him; wherever he went out, he prospered” (2 Kings 18:5).
We remember not only the story of God’s healing of Hezekiah (2 Kings 20:1-6), but also numerous other details of the king’s reign, such as his successful destruction of pagan idolatry and other figurative and literal enemies, including the story of how God defeated the Assyrians on Hezekiah’s behalf when they attacked Jerusalem (2 Kings 19:32-36). He even survived, at least temporarily, the enemy of death (2 Kings 20:1). All these events show a Hezekiah who was truly an individual who followed God and who was blessed in being able to overcome his enemies.
Yet there was one enemy which appears to have remained that even Hezekiah was apparently unable to overcome. A final undefeated enemy is evident in the record of Hezekiah’s last years. When the king of Babylon sent diplomatic messengers to Hezekiah, the king unwisely showed the Babylonians every part of his kingdom and its treasures. We do not know whether this was the result of pride or just lack of strategic wisdom, but as a result the prophet Isaiah warned Hezekiah that this foolish action would result in the Babylonians eventually attacking Judah and destroying Jerusalem (2 Kings 20:12-18).
It is in Hezekiah’s reply to this word of God that we see what was perhaps the king’s last undefeated enemy: “The word of the Lord you have spoken is good,” Hezekiah replied. For he thought, ‘Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?’” (2 Kings 20:19). The king’s words seem humble and accepting on the surface, but his recorded thoughts reveal an incredible degree of selfishness: that despite the horrors he had been told he had brought upon his country, Hezekiah’s attitude was “Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?” Unlike the incident in which the king turned to God in weeping supplication regarding a problem that applied to him directly, when he had unwittingly triggered disaster for others, Hezekiah’s reaction was one of selfish lack of concern – of “Why should I be concerned?” – of “Whatever!”
It is clear that despite his many righteous deeds and the many enemies he overcame, Hezekiah’s last recorded enemy – the reality of his own unconquered selfishness – was one he did not overcome. The biblical record of this king’s reign essentially ends at this point, with Hezekiah’s thoughts recorded as a poignant lesson to us all. Whatever the victories we may have accomplished, they do not matter much in terms of the fulfillment of God’s purpose for us if we are not dedicated to overcoming the enemy of selfishness. Hezekiah’s story should remind us all not to let our lives – or even a single day – end in an attitude of “Whatever!”
*For many more lessons from the kings and other leaders recorded in the Old Testament, download a copy of our free e-book Lessons from Old Testament Leadershere.
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