Instead of focusing on the stories we know well about Peter and the other leading disciples and what may be unfounded legends and traditions regarding the others, whenever possible this book, by R. Herbert, looks at what the Bible tells us about the group as a whole – something we often read over without thought. Yet what the New Testament tells us about the group Jesus chose is not simply background information and often teaches some profoundly important lessons that were written for our education. Lessons from the Lives of the Twelve Disciples is available in formats for computer, e-book reader, or smart phone, Download a free copy from the e-books page on this website, or from FreeChristianEBooks.org, here.
Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said … “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory” (Mark 10:35–37).
People will go to great lengths to get the best seats in a restaurant, a theater, or at some important public occasion, but James and John outdid themselves in their asking (apparently with their mother’s urging – Matthew 20:20–21) for the seats at the right and left hand of Christ in his coming kingdom. We should remember that this event took place shortly after Jesus had already promised his apostles that they would all “sit upon thrones” judging the twelve tribes of Israel in the kingdom of God (Matthew 19:28). The request made by James and John was not just for great authority, but to be elevated to the highest positions of all at Christ’s right and left hand.
The audacity of these two disciples may seem remarkable in what they asked, but in reality, James and John were not the only disciples enamored by the thought of ruling with power. Mark shows that the other disciples were extremely angry once they realized the two brothers had made this bid for prominence in the group (Matthew 20:24). While the other disciples’ reaction may have been one of “righteous indignation,” it is perhaps more likely that they were simply angry at being almost outmaneuvered in regard to who would be the greatest among them.
Yet we should notice that Jesus did not rebuke the disciples regarding their desire for these elevated positions. Rather, he first asked James and John if they were able to “drink the cup” he was going to have to drink – referencing, of course, his coming suffering (Matthew 20:22). Jesus then patiently explained to all the disciples that the greatest among them must be the greatest servant (Matthew 20:25–27) and tried to help them to understand that before any such elevated positions in his kingdom were assigned, he must suffer and die (vs. 28).
After this, Jesus continued on the way to Jerusalem where he knew he would sacrifice his life, but we do not know if the disciples learned the lesson he had attempted to teach them. There is nothing in the gospels that indicates they understood or applied the lesson at that time. We can almost see them jostling with each other to get to be closest to Jesus as he rode, humbly yet triumphantly, into Jerusalem (Matthew 21:1–11). But the events that soon took place must surely have brought the lesson back to their memories.
After Jesus’ betrayal, when it came to the time of his death on the cross, the only ones who were lifted up at his right and left hand were the two condemned individuals who were crucified on either side of him (Matthew 27:38). We can only wonder if James and John realized the irony of that fact, and if they saw in it the lesson Christ had tried to teach them – that those who get to be elevated on the right and left hand of the Son of God are not the great of the world who rule by the world’s power, but those who lose their lives and who symbolically, spiritually, are crucified with him (Galatians 2:19–20).
The lesson is clearly there for us to understand and apply also. The apostle Paul explained this spiritual fact when he wrote that: “God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6). We are all given the opportunity to sit with Christ in his kingdom, but we should not focus on who will be closest to his right or left hand – rather, as Paul affirms: “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God” (Colossians 3:1). The goal is not to obtain the best seat possible, but to serve and sacrifice and to eventually sit together with him.
“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8–9).
There are two ways we can respond to the trials that invariably affect all of us as we go through life. We can resent them and remain forever damaged by them, or we can come out from under them and even be renewed by them. The Japanese art of kintsukuroi (“golden repair”) or kintsugi (“golden joinery”) provides a physical illustration of that choice.
According to legend, the art commenced when the Japanese shogun Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a cracked precious Chinese tea bowl back to China to be repaired. Upon its return, the ruler was displeased to find that it had been mended by means of unsightly metal staples. Japanese craftsmen working for the shogun sought to find an alternative and more pleasing method of repair, and the art or craft of kintsukuroi was born.
Kintsukuroi means “golden repair” because the art restores broken pottery with resin mixed with powdered gold or silver so that instead of attempting to camouflage the break lines they are actually accentuated – being enhanced and beautified by the precious repair material. Thus, kintsukuroi celebrates imperfections as a valid and important aspect of damaged objects – something to be understood as part of their history rather than something to be disguised. In this way, objects that have suffered damage become not less, but more beautiful and more imbued with character.
At the spiritual level, we all have the opportunity to look at the damage we accrue, the “hits” we take in life, in the same way. We can look at them only in terms of the spiritual scars and damage done, or we can look at the trials we go through as part of a process of re-creation in which the end result is better than the original state. That is why the apostle Peter wrote: “you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6–7). Peter’s reference speaks of something far above the kintsukuroi application of gold to purely physical things, and that while the process of remaking may be similar, the formative trials we endure lead to something of far greater value.
That is why the apostle James similarly wrote: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2–4). In fact, the word “complete” that James uses in this passage is the Greek holoklēros which means complete in all its parts and without damage or defect – like a perfectly repaired vessel that is improved by the process of repair.
In the same way, although God allows us to undergo trials in this life that may seem destructive in the short term, in the long term the master potter who formed us is also the master of the golden repair. That is why we can rejoice – not in the trials that come on us, but on their outcome if we choose to let God work with and in us. And that is why, if we choose to do so, we can always say with the apostle Paul “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8–9).
Complaining is one of the most deeply ingrained of all human traits. The biblical story tells us that the first man Adam and his wife Eve both complained immediately something went wrong (Genesis 3:11–13) and we humans can always find something to complain about – as is often said: we pray for rain then complain about the mud, our cup runs over and we complain about the size of the cup we were given!
We all complain at times, and the Bible shows that even some of its greatest heroes and servants of God occasionally fell into this problem, but the Bible is also full of examples and instructions to guide us away from this kind of attitude. This may be seen in the Old Testament stories of ancient Israel’s wanderings in the wilderness – the Israelites complained about the amount of water they had (Exodus 15), the amount of food (Exodus 16), and even the kind of food they were given (Numbers 11). In the New Testament, the apostle Paul tells us “We should not test the Lord, as some of them did … And do not grumble, as some of them did … These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us” (1 Corinthians 10:9–11). Elsewhere, Paul tells us explicitly “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14).
This biblical rejection of fault-finding is because in complaining, sooner or later, we invariably harm ourselves – and often others as well (complaining has been called the world’s oldest communicable disease for good reason). Complaining also easily turns to bitterness which can be spiritually deadly as many scriptures show (Hebrews 12:15; etc.). But even in its “milder” forms, complaining can be a failure to acknowledge God’s sovereignty in all situations, and his ability to make all things work for the best if we let him.
So how do we avoid the all-too-common failing of criticism? There are four simple things we can do that can turn a complaining attitude into a contented one:
1. Keep perspective: Contentment often only comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and begin to appreciate the troubles we don’t have. We may see the truth behind the old proverb that tells us “I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet,” yet it is often hard to relate this to our own situations. As Christians, however, we have an additional reason to keep a more positive perspective in that we can choose to trust God to bring good out of even the negative things that happen in our lives (Romans 8:28).
2. Focus on something better: Psychologists know that we can only put negative thoughts and criticisms out of our own minds by replacing them with more positive things. The poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson is said to have written “Don’t … bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.” The apostle Paul said it even more clearly when he wrote: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
3. Confront the problem: We often complain to others about problems or situations we are not happy about, but don’t take it to the person or people with whom we are discontented. If the situation is not one we can simply put out of our minds as insignificant, we should often follow the principle behind the biblical commands found in both the Old and New Testaments: “Do not nurse hatred in your heart … Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin” (Leviticus 19:17) “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone” (Matthew 18:15).
4. Pray about it: Rather than an “if all else fails” approach, we should often pray first about things we are unhappy enough to complain about. We may try to do what we can to avoid the problem, but if we find ourselves complaining to others – or just to ourselves – and the situation is not one we can practically take to the cause of the problem, we should switch gears and complain to God. The Bible shows God is perfectly willing to hear our concerns (Psalm 142:1–2 ) and asking his help is always the right thing to do. God does not tell us not to complain to ourselves and others without leaving us a way of help. Sometimes, all we have to do is ask for it.
Simple but effective
These four steps may seem absolutely basic – and they are – but the problem is not that they do not work for being so simple, it is with us when we do not utilize them. But once we recognize complaining in ourselves we can reject it and begin to think and speak in a more uplifting way. In his final imprisonment, the apostle Paul had perhaps as many reasons to complain about things as anyone – he was unjustly accused, badly treated, and about to be executed though he had done no wrong. Yet in his letter to the Philippians, written at that time, Paul tells us:
“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life” (Philippians 2:14–15).
Paul’s inspiring words remind us all that whatever our circumstances we should not complain and that in not complaining we truly let our light shine in showing those around us that we who have the truth of God have nothing to complain about.
This is a difficult question for many people who want to do the right thing, but realize that the Scriptures themselves may not seem to be clear on this point. Yet after the basic fact that we should forgive others, this is the most important thing we need to understand.
First, consider the biblical indications that we should forgive others whether they are repentant or not. The Gospel of Mark records that Jesus said: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25). This command does not specify that the other person must be sorry for what they have done in order for us to forgive them and it meshes with the evidence that Jesus himself asked for forgiveness for those who crucified him – who clearly were not sorry for what they had done (Luke 23:34).
On the other hand, the Gospel of Luke seems to say something different when it tells us that Jesus said: “… If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” (Luke 17:3-4). This picture, of only forgiving those who repent, is backed up by another equally clear scripture:
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (Matthew 18:15-18).
These scriptures may even seem to logically fit the fact that God does not forgive an individual until he or she repents of their wrongdoing (Luke 24:47, etc.) – so why, a Christian might ask, should we?
To see past this apparent contradiction in the Scriptures, and to understand what our responsibility is toward those who sin against us, we must understand that forgiveness has two parts, a mental and a physical part – that of the “heart” and that of the “hand” – it involves our attitude and our actions. In every situation we must forgive in our heart, but in some situations we do not proceed to the level of forgiving with our actions by resuming normal interaction as though nothing had happened. We will explain this, but first notice this fact regarding the scriptures we have looked at.
The words of Jesus in Mark 11 and his words on the Cross represent the essential first part of forgiveness – that of attitude. The person praying cannot act in a forgiving manner toward those who have sinned against him but who are elsewhere – any more than Christ could act on his forgiving attitude while he was hanging on the cross. On the other hand, the situation described by Jesus in Luke 17 is one regarding our actions of forgiveness. In that circumstance the person who has been wronged is interacting with and discussing the matter with the individual who has offended. And Matthew 18 specifically tells us that if interaction shows a person is unrepentant, the aggrieved person should treat them in a certain way – meaning act toward them in that way.
Once we understand the two parts of forgiveness, we see there is no real contradiction between Jesus’ statements. On the one hand we must always have an attitude of forgiveness – regardless of whether the offending person is sorry or not (Mark 11:23, Luke 17:3-4). On the other hand, if the person is not repentant or does not show any sign of being sorry for what they have done, we need not feel constrained to act as though nothing has happened and put ourselves in a situation where we are repeatedly hurt.
For example, if a Christian woman is hurt by spousal abuse, or her children are hurt by someone, the Scriptures are clear that she must forgive the injuring individual in her heart. But she need not place herself or her children in danger by acting as though nothing has happened – and staying in the situation. It is not being unforgiving to not extend the second half of forgiveness – resumption of normal interaction – it is simply wise in such cases (Proverbs 22:3, etc.).
There are a number of biblical examples of this principle in action. We find David, for example, who, although he clearly forgave King Saul for trying to kill him (2 Samuel 1:17-27), nevertheless did not return to normal interactions when he realized that Saul still desired his death (1 Samuel 20-23). So it should be with us. If the person who hurts us is not sorry, we must still have an attitude of forgiveness – forgiving them in our hearts – yet in serious situations we need not act on our forgiveness by accepting the person as though nothing had happened and thus placing ourselves or others in repeated jeopardy.
As for the fact that God does not forgive unless a person repents, we must always remember that God has the power and the wisdom to know if a person truly is repentant or not. We cannot read the minds of others and we cannot judge a person’s motives in the same way. People can say “Sorry” and may or may not mean it, while others may not express themselves well, but they may be sincerely sorry. Precisely because we cannot always discern the attitude of another and the reality of a situation perfectly, we must always forgive in our hearts and minds as God clearly instructs us – knowing that ultimately God will judge whether the individual was repentant or not.
Understanding this principle is of the greatest importance in our Christian lives. Knowing that forgiving others involves unconditional forgiveness from the heart, but conditional forgiveness “of the hand” can help us fulfill God’s will in our lives in a balanced and wise manner – just as God intended.
*For more information on the topic of Forgiveness, download our free e-book How to Forgive, here.
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