As Christians we know that the greatest responsibility and opportunity we have in the lives we are given is to love God and our fellow human beings (Matthew 22:37-39). But none of us is perfect in this regard; so how do we grow in love for God and others?
The apostle John gives us an answer to this important question. In his letters, John talks extensively about love, mentioning the concept no fewer than 34 times, including his well-known summary statements such as “…God is love” (1 John 4:8). But John’s teaching on love is not as general as it might sometimes appear.
In his first epistle, the apostle talks about an easily overlooked aspect of the two directions or dimensions of love – love of God and love of people – that must both be present in our lives. In doing so, John answers the question of “How do we increase our love for God and man?” by answering a slightly different one: “How do we know if we love God and others?” He gives us the answer first in terms of whether we truly love God or not. Notice what he tells us:
“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister” (1 John 4:20-21).
The proof of our love for God, John says, is that we love others. In the next chapter of his letter, John repeats this fact: “… everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him” (1 John 5:1). But the apostle then reverses the direction of this understanding:
“This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God” (1 John 5:23).
The proof of our love for others, John tells us here, is that we love God. Just as it is not possible to truly love God without loving his children (1 John 5:1), it is also impossible to truly love God’s children without loving him (1 John 5:2). Together, these verses show the two directions that love must work in. In the first case, our love toward God involves – and is proved by – our love of our brothers and sisters. In the second case, we are told that our love for our brothers and sisters is based on – and proved by – our love and obedience to God.
Simple as it may sound, this two-way definition can be tremendously helpful to us as Christians. We can see what John says as both admonition and encouragement. First, there is clear admonition for all of us in the understanding that we cannot claim to love God if we cannot bring ourselves to love all people, and conversely, that we cannot pretend we truly love people if we do not deeply love God. Love of one without love of the other is not genuine love.
But the encouraging side of this equation relates to our original question – “How can we grow in love of God and others?” What John shows us indicates we can increase our love of God by loving people more, and if we want to increase our love of others, we can do that through actively developing our love of God. It may seem counterintuitive, but it is a truth that solidly underlies much of what John tells us.
Why is this? The reason is that unless God is the center of our life – what we love above all else – we will never truly love others as much as ourselves, because without God at the center of our lives, we will love ourselves above all else – we will primarily be “lovers of ourselves” (2 Timothy 3:2). Conversely, if we do not love others as much as ourselves, we are not fulfilling God’s command and our love of him will always be limited.
What John shows us is that as we grow in our love for God, our love for others will naturally increase at the same time. The closer we grow to God, the more he changes the way we think about ourselves – and others – and the more we begin to love others. As we grow to love the children of God more, it is a direct reaction that we begin to be less self-centered and our love for God naturally increases as a result.
John’s words on the two directions of love may indeed seem counterintuitive at first, yet they are profoundly true in showing us how we can know and grow our love for God and others.
“All you need is love, love, love is all you need, love is all you need …” – The Beatles.
It may have been a smash hit, but the Beatles’ 1967 song “All you need is love” is not exactly good theology! When we think of the biblical importance of love, many scriptures come to mind – ranging from “God so loved the world …” (John 3:16) to the apostle Paul’s great summary statement in 1 Corinthians 13:13 – “now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Love, of course, is of supreme importance because it is perhaps the central defining characteristic of the nature of God himself – “God is love” (1 John 4:7) – so its centrality in the Christian Faith cannot be argued.
But does the supreme importance of love mean that love is all the Christian needs? Many actually think this and go about their lives thinking that as long as they have love, they are “good Christians.” The Bible, however, shows that this is not really true at all. To imagine God as only as God of love is to limit his nature and to entirely miss the fact that the God of love is also, for example, the God of Justice (Isaiah 30:18, Psalm 33:4-6, Isaiah 61:8; etc.) as well as light or truth ( 1 John 1:5; etc.) and many other things. When we remember this, we can better understand what Paul had in mind when he wrote to the Philippian church:
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God (Philippians 1:9-11).
Paul had already told these Christians he knew they had love (verse 8), but then he emphasized the knowledge they needed. The word “knowledge” that Paul uses in this passage is not gnôsis which connotes simply “knowing” but epignôsis, which is used in the New Testament to connote full discernment and spiritual knowledge. Paul echoes the need for this kind of knowledge that guides love in his letter to the Colossians:
“we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:9-10).
These two passages both show that we need to grow in the knowledge of God and his will if we are to please him and bear the fruit of good works based in love. It is perfectly possible to have love in our lives – to be sincere, dedicated, loving – and still wrong. We can love mistakenly or unwisely and as Paul and many other biblical writers show, our love should be coupled with the spiritual knowledge that guides us in seeing how, when and where to show love.
If we were to believe the advertising of this world (especially around Valentine’s Day) we would believe that all a relationship needs is love (and perhaps expensive gifts to “demonstrate” that love). But any married couple can confirm that a healthy and strong relationship needs far more than just love. Our relationship with God is no different. We cannot be truly “one” with God by simply having love that we “demonstrate” through sacrifices, gifts, or other works. The Old Testament prophetic books are full of statements to this effect, and the principle is clear in the New Testament also.
When the Bible tells us that “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments” (1 John 5:5) it shows that we must come to know – and know deeply – how to love. Saying “all you need is love” is like saying “all you need is air.” Of course we need air, and of course we need love, but they are not the only things we need. As the apostle Peter summarized, we must “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). We must have love, but to be effective Christians we must always remember that love is not all we need.
The prophet Nathan served during the reigns of both King David and his son Solomon. Although Nathan was usually “behind the scenes” during the reigns of these kings, it is probable that no other single person was more influential during that pivotal era of biblical history.
Nathan is mentioned many times throughout the books of Samuel, Kings, and Chronicles – mainly during the darkest and most troubled times of King David’s reign. We first meet him in 2 Samuel 7:2 when David told the prophet of his desire to build a temple for God. At first Nathan encouraged the king, but we are told that later that night God spoke to Nathan, telling him in detail why he would not accept a temple built by David, stressing that David had shed much blood (1 Chronicles 28:3).
It was not a flattering message to have to relay, but we see something of Nathan’s character in that he did not attempt to smooth over the reason for God’s refusal of David (or to cover the fact that he himself had been wrong to originally encourage the king) – we are specifically told that “Nathan reported to David all the words of this entire revelation” (2 Samuel 7:17, emphasis added).
Later, Nathan had to confront David with the king’s sins of adultery with Bathsheba and of having her husband Uriah killed (2 Samuel 12:1-15). Considering the fact that David had already killed to hide this situation, we see Nathan’s tremendous strength of character and faith in boldly accusing the king. Nathan not only accused David as God had commanded him to do, but also predicted that David’s first child by Bathsheba would die, and that the king would suffer great anguish as a result of the actions of his own family members.
Close to the end of David’s life, Nathan related to David the news of his son Adonijah’s plan to seize the throne. In this way the prophet skillfully enabled the hasty coronation of David’s chosen heir – Solomon.
Nathan was not simply a bringer of bad news, however. He also encouraged the king and informed David that his throne would be established forever (1 Chronicles 17:1-15). He was clearly a trusted advisor throughout his service to the king and a man of important accomplishments. There appears to have been a book written either by Nathan himself or about his service as a prophet (1 Chronicles 29:29), and Nathan apparently wrote a history of King Solomon along with two others (2 Chronicles 9:29).
But Nathan’s major accomplishment was undoubtedly the true faith he repeatedly showed in expressing tough love for David and confronting the king with his errors. Nathan’s character and faithfulness in conveying the word of God, no matter how negative the message sometimes may have seemed, obviously gained him the respect of Israel’s greatest king. True to his name, the prophet surely was a “Gift of God” to David in helping him to correct his course when he went astray (for example, Psalm 51) – something the king must surely have appreciated over time. In fact, it is doubtless a sign of David’s respect and love for Nathan that the king named his third son after the prophet (1 Chronicles 3:5). And it is through that Nathan – not Solomon or any of David’s other powerful sons – that Jesus Christ was descended (Luke 3:31). The prophet Nathan served in a “behind the scenes” career, but one which had a tremendous effect for good. He is an example to all of us of the value of truth spoken in love, and of faith in dealing with difficult situations concerning those we strive to serve.
The English expression “above all” is a superlative: there can normally only be one thing that is “above all” in any given category – such as the highest mountain or the largest ocean. In the New Testament, several Greek phrases function in the same way – they also connote something that is more important than any other among the things being discussed. For example, the apostle James tells us “Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear” (James 5:12) – meaning that is the most important thing his readers must keep in mind in the context he is speaking about.
The apostle Peter uses the expression in the same way in his epistles, but interestingly he uses it not once but three times – each time of a different thing:
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
“Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things” (2 Peter 1:20).
“Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires” (2 Peter 3:3).
At first sight these statements seem to be unrelated. They certainly speak of different things that the apostle urges us to keep foremost in mind – though it may seem strange that he mentions two things to keep in mind “above all” in the same epistle. Yet there is perhaps a thread that connects them all.
In the first of these verses, Peter’s subject is obvious – it is love of one another that he emphasizes must be paramount in our concerns. We must not only love each other, he says, but we must love each other deeply.
In the second verse the subject may seem a somewhat narrow one to be regarded as something “above all else,” but the context of the statement helps us to understand what the verse is emphasizing. Peter is not simply talking about understanding Scripture, but about our perception of it in a context of faith. The epistle’s first verses tell us that Peter writes: “To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours” (2 Peter 1:1).
A few verses later Peter expands the theme of faith: “make every effort to add to your faith goodness” (2 Peter 1:5). Then in verse 16 Peter begins a defense of his readers’ faith: “For we did not follow cleverly devised stories” (2 Peter 1:16); in verse 19 he adds “We also have the prophetic message” (2 Peter 1:19) It is in continuation of this thought that he then writes “Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation” (2 Peter 1:20). Peter’s point is that our faith is well grounded – something he urges us to place at the forefront of our minds.
In the final verse in which he uses the expression “above all” the apostle tells us “Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come” (2 Peter 3:3) and once again we must look at its context. The third chapter of 2 Peter develops the idea that scoffers will come who, if they are able, will undermine the very hope of every believer in the return of our Lord: “They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised?” (2 Peter 3:4), and Peter immediately follows this warning with a defense of the Christian hope regarding Christ’s return (verses 5–12) – concluding with the words “But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this” (verses 13–14 , emphases added). Twice Peter stresses that which the believer is looking forward to – hoping for. The context of 2 Peter 3:3 is clearly that it is paramount that we are not affected by scoffers and that we can continue to hope in the reality of the Lord’s return.
Whether consciously or not, Peter’s three references to things that we must keep in mind “above all” are related in that they have to do with the great triad of love, faith, and hope* (or “faith, hope, and love” as Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:13), that make up the centrality of Christian life. There is no contradiction in what Peter writes – these three qualities are, indeed, things that we must strive toward “above all.”
* Download our free e-book These Three Remain:Why Faith, Hope and Love Are Even More Important Than You Realize here .
Global warming continues to be a topic provoking concern, debate and cries for action among many. We are used to meteorologists making accurate forecasts of the temperature even many days in advance – often to the precise degree – and so many may be concerned when climatologists forecast dangerous temperature changes for the coming decades.
But what would you think about a forecast that predicted temperatures several thousand years in advance?
Some two thousand years ago Jesus of Nazareth made such a forecast regarding moral and ethical temperature declines at the end of the present age, saying: “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold” (Matthew 24:12).
Perhaps there has always been evil in this world and a resulting coldness in human hearts and interactions, but Christ clearly stated that there would come a time when the love of most would grow cold. The Greek expression (ton pollon) translated “of many” in some Bibles is better translated – as in the NIV – “of most” or “of the majority,” showing that this coldness was something that would eventually be widespread and would be the norm rather than the exception.
Spiritually, the problem our world faces is not global warming, but global cooling. We see this moral chill every day in news reports not only of atrocities committed by religious and political fanatics, but also hate crimes against total strangers, and even violence by parents against their own children and spouses against each other. Just as frightening is the fact that the immediate context of Christ’s forecast is not necessarily only talking about the unconverted of the world – it seems to apply to religious people as well.
If you or I heard a forecast of impending unbelievably cold physical temperatures, we would doubtless take action to do what we could to survive the situation and help offset the cold as best we could. But do we take Christ’s moral forecast seriously enough to take action in that regard? And what, if anything, can we do to offset the growing lack of love this world seems even now to be experiencing – and which also unavoidably affects Christians?
Fortunately, the same book that forecasts the cooling of love indicates things we can do to turn that climate change around, even if only in our own lives. Consider these four Christian climate warmers:
1) Forgiveness: The Gospel of John tells us the story of the woman who anointed Christ in the home of a disapproving Pharisee. Jesus told the Pharisee that although the woman had sinned much in her life, those who are forgiven much, love much (John 7:46-47). We can apply that principle to ourselves in terms of looking at those around us in the moral wilderness in which we live. As society worsens around us, it’s easy to become judgmental – like the Pharisee – if we are not careful. But reminding ourselves of how much we have been forgiven can help us feel and show more love to those whose lives are still in the grip of sin.
2) Prayer: We can and should be praying for God’s love, of course, but sometimes we have to remind ourselves to break that prayer down. Something that can help in this regard is to put names to the prayer. Praying for help to love person X and Person Y can be far more effective than praying for the “idea” of love. Try it and see for yourself.
3) Study: Regularly studying the life of Christ may be one of the most valuable climate warmers at our disposal. Actually seeing God’s love in living everyday action through the Gospel accounts of the life of Jesus shows us love in a way in which we don’t usually see it. It can help us by providing both a model and an inspiration. Notice these words of the apostle Paul: “… the goal of our instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith” (1 Timothy 1:5 CSB). Frequently focusing our study of God’s word on the topic of love becomes more important the colder society becomes around us.
4) Encouragement: The book of Hebrews contains these important words: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds … encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:23-25). These verses make it clear that encouraging one another is directly related to spurring one another to love. The fact that this is said to be all the more vital as we see the end of the age approaching ties directly to Christ’s warning of the love of the majority growing cold in the last days.
In some ways these pointers seem so very basic, yet they are so very true. The Bible is clear that love is increased, fanned like a flame, by these specific things – and each one is something we can do personally if we are determined to do so. The important thing for us in the cooling world in which we live is to be sure to utilize these principles – to increase the love in our lives – and not to become numbed by the cold around us.
In summarizing the greatest commandments, Jesus quoted Leviticus 19:18 to affirm the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself.” We all know this verse, but do we fully understand it? Given our own society’s frequent stress on the importance of “self-love,” we may read into Jesus’ words something that is not really there.
Sometimes it is said that Jesus’ words show the importance of self-love, and that loving ourselves is a prerequisite for loving other people. But what if we don’t love ourselves very much – or even hate ourselves – are we supposed to love other people to that same degree? This is an unavoidable conclusion if we insist on taking Jesus’ words to mean love of others is somehow based on the degree to which we love ourselves.
But if we go back to the section of Leviticus that Jesus was quoting and read the whole verse, we see something interesting: “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.” The point here is that we would not carry out revenge on ourselves or bear a grudge against ourselves, and we should love other people by treating them in the same way. Jesus simply quoted the second part of this principle – out of context – as a scriptural reference to the overall principle of loving others. We should remember that the Old Testament does not always contain verses that perfectly show every principle that is elaborated in the New Testament.
Once we realize that Jesus was simply quoting a verse that came closest to the overall principle of love for others, we can see that this verse does not really have anything to do with “self-love” or that “we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.” These sentiments are not present in what Jesus said and are actually not found anywhere else in the Bible.
Look at three examples of the many instances in which love of others is spoken about without ever referencing love of self:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34).
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
“This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another” (1 John 3:11).
Love of others is simply not related to or bound up with love of self in the Bible. The very few seeming exceptions are easy to explain. In his letter to the church at Ephesus, for example, the apostle Paul wrote that each husband “must love his wife as he loves himself” (Ephesians 5:33), but Paul is likely talking here about the husband loving his wife with the biblical understanding that they are one body, one self. The Amplified Bible catches the sense of this in translating the verse: “However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self.”
There is no proof that any of the few biblical verses that talk about loving others as ourselves are talking about self-love in the modern sense. In fact, Paul tells Timothy: “There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy” (2 Timothy 3:1-2, emphasis added).
This does not mean that we must have a negative self-image or that we should hate ourselves. What it does mean is that for the Christian, self-love as a way of accepting and valuing ourselves is replaced with the understanding of God’s love for us (John 3:16) – and that our self-image is based on that full and truly meaningful outside love, not on some inner love for ourselves that we drum up. The Christian understands that in reality there is much that is not really lovable about all of us (Romans 3:10-12), but God’s love and reconstruction of our lives (Ephesians 4:24) supersedes the undeniable failings of our own inner nature. The Christian comes to realize that “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19) – not because we learned self-love.
God calls us to a sacrificial love of others more than self. We see this in the words of Jesus (John 15:13; etc.) and in the words of Paul – not that we build ourselves up, but that we look on others as more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).
We all experience feelings of insecurity at times, but the answer is not to look inward and attempt to love ourselves more. The Scriptures show that the answer is to look upward at the value God places on each one of us individually, and to look outward and concentrate on the value of others. When we understand that right self-love is a recognition and appreciation for the love God has for us and for others, then we can begin to effectively love others as ourselves.
Recent Comments