The Bible talks a lot about patience, and anyone who reads the Scriptures can’t help but notice the many verses that address this aspect of human relations.  What is less obvious is that a common thread connects most of these scriptures. The main words for patience found in both the Old and New Testaments are similar in meaning and connote “long-suffering.”  In fact, the New Testament word we most often see translated “patience” (the Greek word makrothumia) literally means “long-anger” or “long-burning” – like a long fuse attached to a stick of dynamite! 

But everyone has limits to their patience; everyone has a “fuse” that burns down eventually – when patience gives out to anger.  So whether we are someone who naturally has a “short fuse” and whose anger is more quickly ignited or whether we are more patient and have a “longer” fuse, as Christians we all have to control the anger we sooner or later experience.
 
Anger in itself is not wrong.  It is a necessary emotion, but one which must be applied carefully. The Bible shows that God himself exhibits “righteous anger” – for example, when he is angered by the mistreatment of helpless refugees, widows, and orphans (Exodus 22:21-24) – and the more we learn to see things as God does, the more we will be angered by such things, also. But proper expression of anger requires three things, and we will look at them in turn.

Proper Motivation

Once we feel our anger “fuse” has begun to burn, we need to immediately take stock of what it is that is motivating the anger.  Are we angry because our pride was somehow hurt, because we feel others are not respecting us, not giving us due credit, or have insulted us or hurt us in some other way?  If so, that anger must be controlled as quickly as possible.  A good rule of thumb is that if we are angry about something that has been done to us personally, we need to be particularly careful that the motivation for our anger is right and not just an expression of the “get even” desires of human nature.

Another thing we should consider when human relationships are involved is whether we are getting angry at a person or at an unacceptable behavior. The Christian’s motivation in anger should never be to correct a person, but to correct a situation.

These are things we can all reflect upon.  What causes anger in us when we do become angry, and what is our goal in expressing anger?  Thinking this through in order to curb angry feelings that are not properly motivated is the beginning of being angry without sin.

Proper Expression 

Even when anger is justified, it can still be wrong if it is not expressed properly.  Anger that is expressed with hurtful comments or any kind of violence is clearly wrong.  Just as we said that the Christian’s motivation in anger should never be to correct a person but to correct a situation, we can extend that to say anger that intentionally hurts people in the way it is expressed is always wrong.

We should always strive to express our anger in an assertive but non-hurtful manner. This involves stating our concerns and needs clearly and directly, without resorting to belittling others or trying to control them. Only as we properly direct feelings of anger to behavior that does something about the problem – rather than reacting to the problem – can we properly control and apply our anger.

We see this in the Bible’s description of how God controlled his anger at ancient Israel: “… he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath” (Psalm 78:38).  Likewise, our anger should always be under our control rather than taking control of us – only then will we be able to express it in a manner that is not wrong. That is why the apostle Paul wrote “Be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 3:4 ESV), showing it is not anger, but the lack of control and proper expression of anger that is problematic.

Proper Timing   

Controlled timing is also vital in proper anger management.  The longer we are able to delay before anger sets in, the more likely we are to be able to control it. Thomas Jefferson famously and wisely said, “When angry, count 10, before you speak; if very angry, 100.”  The apostle James put it this way: “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). As we noted above, both the Hebrew and Greek words translated patience in the Bible mean slow to anger.  Putting the brakes on anger early often saves us from skidding out of control when it is fully developed.

And even legitimate anger must be limited in its duration.  Once anger has been properly expressed, we need to put it to rest. The Scriptures are very clear on this.  Paul’s words to the Ephesians “Be angry and do not sin” are followed immediately in the same verse by “do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 3:4).  Paul quotes these words from Psalm 4:4, and it is sometimes helpful to read that psalm and see how David learned to bring his anger to a close.
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So we should always strive to be slow to engage anger and quick to bring it to an end. If we can learn to do this, while being careful to check our own motivation regarding what angers us and being unwavering in the proper expression of our anger, we will be exercising principles that do indeed help us to be angry and not to sin. 

​There is an old saying that “The proud and the liar are brothers.”  There is a lot of truth in that statement as the two problems often are found side by side.  Without thinking about it we might not guess that pride and lying are related, but it’s a truth found in the Bible itself – where the two vices are frequently mentioned together.   Look at a couple of examples in the Book of Psalms:

“Let their lying lips be silenced, for with pride and contempt they speak arrogantly against the righteous” (Psalm 31:18).

“For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips, let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter” (Psalm 59:12).

Do you see how the two problems are connected and how their relationship is clear in these verses? Notice another example in the Book of Proverbs:

“haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood” (Proverbs 6:17).

Haughtiness is of course, pride: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). “Haughty eyes” are simply eyes that pridefully look down on others.

Consider one final example: “…Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate” (Proverbs 8:13 ESV).

The connection between pride and lying runs throughout the Scriptures. Two of the major traits that the Bible seems to mention of Satan the devil are that he was filled with pride (Isaiah 14:12-14 suggests this figuratively along with Ezekiel 28:14, 16-17) and that he was the “father of lies” (John 8:44). Other scriptures speak of what that being does, but these are two traits that particularly personify what he is.

So “Pride” (who also goes by “haughtiness,” “arrogance” and several other aliases) is almost always  to be found in the company of  “the Liar.”  Biblical verses that warn us of one frequently warn us of the other and  if we see one, the other is likely not far behind. This is understandable because lying is almost always a result of wanting to somehow look better in the eyes of others.  Sometimes lies are told to cut others down or to elevate the self, but these failings are also manifestations of underlying pride.

This is important because – as many Christians have found – pride is probably the hardest sin to see in our own lives. It may be obvious to others when we suffer from it, but our own pride may be nearly invisible to us.  Knowing the relationship between pride and lying can help us.  In that sense, being alert to  lying, exaggeration or shading of the truth in our lives can be an “early warning system” that makes us aware of the proximity of pride.
 
“Pride” and “the Liar” are certainly brothers, and they are two brothers we must beware of.  But knowing their close relationship helps us in our personal growth.  If we begin to see indications of one of these problems in our lives, we can know that the other is not far away – and we can be especially vigilant to avoid them both.