by R. Herbert | Jan 14, 2015 | Positive Living
“I have experienced many awful things – most of which didn’t happen.” – Anonymous
You have doubtless heard the old story about the optimist and pessimist having coffee together. When the optimist told his friend, “You always think the worst will happen and then it usually doesn’t,” his pessimist friend replied “Yes – see how well it works!”
It’s a silly story, but it makes a point. Even people of faith are often guilty of presuming the worst in everyday situations. Has it never happened to you? You don’t hear from someone you emailed for several weeks so you begin to think they are angry with you, don’t like you that much anyway, or whatever – only to finally hear back from them that they have been ill for a while. Or you find that the person you thought was a parking slob was dealing with a true emergency which denied time for proper parking.
These may be trivial examples, but if we allow it to become a pattern in our lives, presuming the worst can affect our relationships in more serious ways, especially if doing this leads to presuming negative motivation or actions on the part of those who are not guilty of them.
A classic example of arriving at such wrong conclusions based on presuming the worst can be found in the Book of Job, in the form of Job’s three friends. These friends doubtless loved Job and were concerned for him, yet they allowed themselves to presume the worst about Job’s character in looking at the limited facts they had available. It’s unfortunately a human tendency – a part of human nature that can even be manifested in human relations with God Himself. The Old Testament gives many examples of this among the Children of Israel as they encountered various problems before going into the Promised Land:
“You grumbled in your tents and said, ‘The LORD hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us’” (Deuteronomy 1: 27).
Many of these Israelites were obviously hard hearted and full of their own human nature, as the Bible shows; but their attitude of presuming the worst remains a lesson to us all. In fact, learning to assume positive intent on the part of those around us – and God Himself – is a vital part of spiritual maturity. Certainly we may be disappointed at times if we develop this attitude, and we should always be wise in our dealings with others (it’s OK to presume the worst about a person offering to sell you the Eiffel Tower or a bridge in Brooklyn); but we shouldn’t presume the worst without some indication to justify the feeling. Most of us have no problem in accepting the legal mantra of “innocent until proven guilty,” but sometimes we have to broaden our thinking to include that approach in our everyday lives.
Presuming the worst can often be just a way of accepting our fears or frustrations without properly dealing with them. The old saying really has some truth in it: “If you presume the worst of others, you will all too often assume you are right.” We need to make a conscious decision not to presume the worst and to assume the best whenever possible.
by R. Herbert | Jan 1, 2015 | Positive Living
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? …” (Isaiah 43:18-19). Ancient cultures celebrated the beginning of their new year at various points in the annual solar cycle. The ancient Roman year began in March until Julius Caesar, in correcting the calendar in 46 B.C., made January the first month. And some cultures, like ancient Israel, had more than one new year – a sacred year beginning in the spring, and an administrative or civil year beginning in the fall.
The Bible shows certain events in religious history were tied to these two new years. Nisan 1, the beginning of the Hebrew sacred year, was the beginning of the Exodus story (Exodus 12:1-2), and according to Jewish tradition, the tabernacle of God was dedicated on the same first day of the spring cycle New Year; whereas the Temple of Solomon was dedicated at the beginning of the fall cycle New Year (1 Kings 8:1-2). This “civil new year” is also the point from which the years were counted in Israel and, according to Jewish tradition, the day on which the creation of man took place.
So the new years were important in a number of ways in the religion of ancient Israel, as we see in the Old Testament. But whatever date cultures have chosen to begin a new year, it is often a time of celebration as it seems to be deeply human to desire and to celebrate new beginnings. Sometimes, of course, the celebration part of the picture can get a little carried away. As far as our modern (since Julius Caesar) New Year is concerned, it is interesting that the early Christians accepted it, but cautiously as they were strongly opposed to the pagan extravagance and licentiousness which often accompanied it. Not much has changed since those times and, as we all know, for some today New Year’s Eve can often be a time of revelry without restraint. Today’s Christians may still have to beware of that spirit of unrestraint, but we can always rejoice in the concept of renewal.
As Christians we rejoice in the new lives we begin upon conversion – as the apostle Paul wrote: “… if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17); and in his letter to the Ephesians Paul shows that this is an ongoing renewal: “… put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires … be made new in the attitude of your minds; and … put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24). That’s a goal that certainly far exceeds any physical “New Year’s resolution,” but in that sense, every day is like the beginning of a new year for the Christian, and Christians should perhaps strive to be masters of the new beginning. It’s part of our calling – we are supposed to “raze the old to raise the new” – on an ongoing basis. So let’s remember the calling we have as this new year begins – not to well-intentioned but short-lived “resolutions,” but to real and lasting renewal.
by R. Herbert | Nov 30, 2014 | Positive Living, Strategic Articles
A wise man once said that the first things we do in life are to map our world and to want what we don’t have.
But do those things bring us happiness when we get them? In this season of frantic holiday buying and wanting, many find no real happiness in getting.
But human beings were clearly made to want things – with desires that are not satisfied by “things.” Our article “What Do You Want?“, uploaded today, looks at the story of human wanting and at some of the things that we can want that do bring happiness to ourselves and others. Read the article here.
by R. Herbert | Nov 3, 2014 | Positive Living
“Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” is one of the most well-known phrases in the United States Declaration of Independence. It ranks the pursuit of happiness as an “unalienable right” which the Declaration affirms has been given to all human beings by their Creator.
The goal of human happiness is, of course, a totally worthy one with which few would disagree, but the words “pursuit of Happiness” can sometimes cause a misunderstanding. All too often we tend to think of happiness as a goal to be pursued, a thing to be chased, caught up with and captured; but there can be problems with this idea of pursuing happiness.
If we pursue happiness as a goal in itself, we never really find it. We have a whole book of the Bible – the Book of Ecclesiastes – reminding us of that truth. This is because happiness is not a commodity to be hunted and caught; it comes as a side-effect of what we do. We have only to read widely in literature to see that this has been something that wise men and women have understood for millennia – that rather than being an independent commodity we somehow gain, happiness is something we produce by what we do. Solomon found this (Ecclesiastes 2:24-26), and consider these few modern examples: Eleanor Roosevelt wrote “Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” That is what Ralph Waldo Emerson meant when he wrote “Some pursue happiness – others create it.” And the current Dalai Lama has said: “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
But if that was all there is to happiness, everyone would do things that made them happy and everyone would be happy – which we know is far from the truth. Unfortunately, many people short-circuit the production of happiness in a particular way. Writer Freya Stark summarized this: “There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” And remember that Jesus himself said, as he concluded the teaching of his disciples: “If you know these things, happy are you if you do them” (John 13:17 KJV).
There is an undeniable link between what we know and what we do. No matter what we do to try to produce happiness in our lives, our attempts will always be short-circuited if there is a gap between belief and practice, between our faith and our actions. Sometimes a little meditation on that fact is a far more effective way to get back to producing happiness in our lives than trying to chase happiness by seeking it some other way.
But a major lesson that we humans have learned through history is that we become happy as a result of what we do. So what particular actions make us happy? Once again we can look to Ecclesiastes to see that satisfying our every whim certainly does not produce happiness, and that chasing happiness is a “chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 2:11). But if we look again to the words of Christ “If you know these things, happy are you if you do them,” it is clear that “these things” are the things Jesus had taught his disciples – foremost of which are the principles of giving and serving. It is in this context that we should also remember Jesus’ words that “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). It is no coincidence that the Greek word makarion – “blessed” also means “happy.” If we are doing these things we won’t have to pursue happiness because, invariably, happiness will come to us.
by R. Herbert | Oct 26, 2014 | Positive Living, Relationships
“When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them” (Job 29:24).
You probably know that studies have found that smiling is good for you. Carefully controlled psychological experiments have proven that we are happy because we smile just as much as we smile because we are happy. Smiling – even forced smiling – has been found to relieve stress, and a 2010 study published in Psychological Science even showed that smile intensity in photographs predicted longevity.
But did you know that at least one study has found that the single most effective thing a person can usually do to enhance his or her relationships with other people is … to smile more often? So in the title to this post I do not mean to be flippant in paraphrasing the biblical injunction “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16, KJV). Letting our “light” shine is clearly more than just smiling, it involves our “good works” – the whole range of our behavior and interactions with others – yet if smiling is such an important component of our relationships with others, shouldn’t we indeed smile more often?
We may not be able to find biblical verses saying “Jesus smiled,” but in his classic work The Humor of Christ, Elton Trueblood lists thirty passages showing the humor of Jesus in the Synoptic Gospels. There are many other examples in the Bible of things being said with evident humor that suggest smiles were often present on the faces of God’s servants (for example, 1 Kings 18:27); and verses like “Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy” (Psalm 126:2) had to involve smiling.
The point is, walking in God’s ways should produce smiles at least a portion of the time. This is particularly true because feelings of care and affection are frequently accompanied by smiles – if we are concerned and caring for others we will naturally smile even, sometimes, despite our own circumstances. In fact, just as experiments have found we can make ourselves happy by smiling, we can also make others happy by smiling at them. So there are at least two good reasons to be smiling, but it is something many Christians don’t do as often as we might expect. A surprising number of sincere believers live under a cloud of seriousness – at its worst it can be an expression of focusing on spiritual problems rather than the answers, though more often it’s just that we forget what an impact a smile can have.
So keep this in mind when you greet the world. As they say, if you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. It’s not meant as pop-psychology advice to make you feel better, it’s meant as a small reminder that smiling is a part of letting our light shine. It certainly isn’t the most important part, but it may be the first thing that people notice about us and – as Job mentions in the scripture quoted above – it may be one of the things they firmly remember.
by R. Herbert | Jun 22, 2014 | Positive Living
Being under the power of sail (whether sailboat, sailboard, iceboat or whatever) can be a lot of fun, but, just like life itself, it can have both exhilarating and difficult times.
When we have a “following wind” and the going seems effortless – the wind moving us along almost without work, just like those “good days” in life – things seem good indeed. On the other hand, when we have to fight into the wind – like those other days we all experience – it’s not so easy. But it still works. If you have ever been sailing, you know that we can make progress sailing into the wind just as we can with the wind behind us.
Sailing into a wind, of course, we have to tack the boat – zigzagging back and forth in a way that never seems like we are going in the right direction, yet we get where we are going eventually. In the Christian life, God takes us on many tacks; although we may often not see where we are going, or understand the point of some of the detours we might seem to have to take, He sets the course and gets us to our destination (Philippians 1:6). An encouraging fact about tacking is that no matter whether we make small zigzags (to put it in non-nautical language) or large ones, the actual distance travelled is actually the same; and we still get where we are going. Sometimes life’s detours can seem to be long ones, but if we have turned over the helm of our life to the One who is the sure Pilot we will get there.
Nevertheless, those times when we are facing the wind or going through stormy waters may seem tough, and we may wish for calm seas, but that’s actually what all sailors fear most when under sail – being becalmed. Throughout the history of sail when winds dropped and movement stopped, sailors eventually ran out of food and water and became extremely sick or sometimes perished. When we enter what may seem to be a pleasant, calm stretch of life, we need to remember that being becalmed often leads to a false sense of security, to apathy and eventual loss of close contact with the One who is the bread and the water of life (John 6:35, John 4:14).
We may think sometimes that living under our own control – like ships with engines that do not have to rely on external power – would be great in that we could go anywhere: picking our own directions, making our own moves; but left to our own direction in life we know we really drift aimlessly and no direction has any meaning. When we are relying on the power of the wind we work with a power beyond our control, and that is how God chooses to propel us in His direction. Once we understand it, we see that the Christian life, like sailing, is not really giving up our freedom of direction; it’s accepting a freedom to participate in the most challenging, exhilarating and meaningful sailing possible. It reminds me of the lyrics of the old song made famous by Rod Stewart: “I am Sailing,” which ends:
“We are sailing, we are sailing,
home again ‘cross the sea.
We are sailing stormy waters,
to be near you, to be free.
Oh Lord, to be near you, to be free …”
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