Every Christian experiences answered prayer. Every Christian experiences unanswered prayer. It’s easy to appreciate the former and then to move on, but unanswered prayer sticks with us: the illness that persists, the job opening that doesn’t come, the ongoing difficulties we all face and may, in many cases, have prayed about fervently. We see this situation in the apostle Paul’s admission regarding a problem he prayed about unsuccessfully: “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me” (2 Cor. 12:8). Apparently Paul’s prayers were unanswered in this case.
So why unanswered prayer? Only God knows the answer to this question for specific cases, but the Bible gives us at least three reasons, and it’s possible to think of at least one more that we should keep in mind. First, as the Bible often states, the prayers of the unrighteous go unheard (John 9:31); but this was clearly not the situation in Paul’s case, any more than it is for many who are sincerely trying to walk according to God’s commandments.
The apostle James gives an additional warning: “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (James 4:3). Remember James was writing to believers, not to unbelievers, so perhaps we should examine our motivation whenever our prayer does goes unanswered. There are also doubtless times when God knows that it would not be good for us to answer a prayer affirmatively. Have you ever prayed something, then – because of new information or whatever – realized that what you asked for is not what you need or want? This has certainly happened to me, and as a result I try to remember that asking “Your will be done” is ultimately in our best interests!
But sometimes the problem is not with unrighteousness, or selfish motivation, or asking contrary to God’s will. There is also another situation which I believe may apply to Christians just as often as any of these last three reasons for unanswered prayer. Although it is not one for which we can cite a chapter and verse, the principle is nevertheless to be found in the Bible. But let’s illustrate it with a real-life example. Those of us who are parents know that when children have problems or needs they will often unabashedly ask for help as they think it is needed. When one of our sons was in grade school he came home complaining of being bullied by a bigger kid at his bus stop. He had every confidence that his parent would fix the situation, but thought the answer would be for dad to punish the bully and thus solve the problem. Needless to say, dad explained that that would not be the right way to fix this particular problem and simply talked to the offending child the next day. A simple request to stop the bullying was all that was needed.
Like sincere children, sometimes we just don’t understand what to ask for and may well be asking for something that is not going to be given in the way we ask. God knows our need before we ask it (Matthew 6:8); and Paul says “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit itself intercedes for us…” (Romans 8:26). But that doesn’t mean God will answer exactly according to our request if we are asking for the wrong solution to the problem. Even as adults, we can be a lot like the child who asks for his or her solution to a problem and, as a result, we may not realize it when God works out the situation in a different manner from what we ask. No matter how sincere we may be, if we try to tell God how to do His job, we may find that’s the one way it won’t happen!
This is also true in the matter of timing. When we pray urgently for help that doesn’t arrive just when we think we need it, it’s easy enough to feel that the prayer was unanswered, but that’s not necessarily the case at all. We have to remind ourselves that we pray on our schedules and God answers on His. He doubtless knows when it will be best to answer our requests, but that doesn’t mean our prayers will never be answered.
You may not have noticed it, but there is a great biblical example of asking in a way that doesn’t stipulate what or when we think help needs to be given. In 2 Chronicles 20: 1-12 Jehoshaphat, one of ancient Israel’s few good kings, was told that a vast enemy army was heading toward Jerusalem. “Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah … Then Jehoshaphat stood up in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem at the temple of the LORD and said: ‘Lord, the God of our ancestors, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations … here are men from Ammon, Moab and Mount Seir … coming to drive us out of the possession you gave us as an inheritance. Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.’”
Notice that Jehoshaphat doesn’t ask for angelic armies to come to Israel’s aid; he doesn’t ask for plagues or whirlwinds to strike the enemy or any of the many ways we might imagine God could take care of the situation; and he doesn’t even ask for help now! His prayer ended with a simple “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” What kind of a prayer is that? you might ask. Jehoshaphat just mentions the situation and doesn’t even seem to ask for any specific help. Indeed, he does not. Nevertheless, Jehoshaphat ‘s prayer was answered. We are told that “The Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated” (2 Chron. 20:22).
Think about this. If Jehoshaphat had earnestly asked God for firestorms or floods or whatever to be unleashed upon his enemy, he might well have thought his prayer was unanswered. In this case his prayer obviously was answered, and quickly, but the point is that Jehoshaphat simply showed his faith and asked God’s help, leaving the details up to God.
Perhaps there is a lesson in this for us all. If we are living as we know we should, being right in the motivation for our requests, and letting God choose the best way to answer our needs, we can be sure that our prayers will be answered according to God’s will. We still have to accept God’s will in the matter, but we can pray “Your will be done” with confidence when we understand that God does have our ultimate happiness foremost in mind. When we remember that, and that God will answer as He knows best, we will also realize that we may actually have fewer unanswered prayers than we often think.
The New Testament tells us that one day a disciple asked Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” Jesus replied: “When you pray, say …” and then he proceeded to give what is called “The Lord’s Prayer” (Matthew 6:9–13, and Luke 11:2–4):
We see that this prayer was probably intended as a model, which could be used as an outline and expanded in our own words, by the fact that the wording is different in the two gospels in which it occurs – so reciting its exact words is clearly not as important as following its points. The following guide gives examples of how the Lord’s Prayer can be expanded in our own words for regular formal prayer which effectively covers all aspects of our relationship with God. The scriptures given are examples showing the principles covered in each point of the prayer.
OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN
The first section of the prayer outline establishes our relationship with God as our Father and prepares our mindset for an audience with Him.
• Praise God as Creator of Heaven and Earth and Father of our human family (Genesis 1:1; 1 Corinthians 8:6)
• Thank God for the privilege we have of praying to Him in Heaven (Psalm 150:1; John 4:23)
• Thank God for the personal son/daughter relationship we have with Him (Romans 8:14-16; 1John 3:2)
HALLOWED [HONORED] BE YOUR NAME
The second section of the prayer outline offers true respect and praise to God – for everything He is and has done – and reminds us to honor His name.
• Praise for what God is – Creator, Ruler, Sustainer, Love, Righteousness, Mercy and Truth (Psalm 100:3-5; Psalm 145:8-17)
• Praise for all He has done – His compassion, patience, sacrifice and salvation (Psalm 146:1-10; John 3:16)
• Ask God’s help to honor His name, never misuse it, always use it with respect (Exodus 20:7; Psalm 86:12)
YOUR KINGDOM COME, YOUR WILL BE DONE, ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN
The third section of the prayer outline focuses on the establishment of God’s Kingdom and Will in our lives and eventually throughout the world.
• Pray for help to accept God’s will and that He grow His Kingdom in our lives and the lives of all believers (Mark 4:30-32; Romans 12:2)
• Pray for God’s help in bringing His truth to many more people, to continually grow His Kingdom (Luke 10:2; Matthew 28:19-20)
• Pray for leaders and those helping others that good may be done wherever possible (Jeremiah 29:7; 1 Timothy 2:1-2)
• Pray for the spiritual needs of God’s people and the support and guidance of His Church (Ephesians 6:18; 2 Thessalonians 3:1)
FORGIVE US OUR SINS AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SIN AGAINST US
The fifth section of the prayer outline shows that we should ask forgiveness for our sins and the sins of others –as well as for help to forgive others.
• Ask forgiveness for our own sins, and give thanks for the sacrifice of Christ and God’s grace (Psalm 51:1-2; 1John 1:9)
• Ask for help in forgiving others fully as God forgives us; to let go of anger and bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32; Matthew 6:14-15)
• Pray for those that sin against us that God be merciful to them as He is to us (Luke 23:34a; Acts 7:60)
LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION
The sixth section of the prayer outline requests God’s help, for ourselves and for others, to avoid unnecessary trials and overcome things that tempt us to sin.
• Ask for help in overcoming temptations and sins identified in our own lives (Luke 22:40; Hebrews 2:18)
• Ask for help for all those fighting weaknesses, addictions, sins (Hebrews 4:16; 1 Corinthians 10:13)
• Pray that those who have escaped sin will have the strength not to return to it (2 Peter 2:20; Galatians 6:1)
DELIVER US FROM EVIL
The seventh section of the prayer outline asks for protection from physical and spiritual evil, and for all fighting against evil or held in its sway.
• Pray for physical and spiritual protection for all who look to God for help, especially in persecution (2 Samuel 22:3-4; John 17:15-17; )
• Pray for all who are working to suppress evils that are harming people (Hebrews 13:17; Romans 13:3)
[FOR YOURS IS THE KINGDOM, THE POWER AND THE GLORY, FOR EVER. AMEN]
The final words of the Lord’s Prayer appearing in some translations were not in the earliest Bible manuscripts, but they reflect Christian traditions which remind us to:
• End prayer as we began, with praise and thanks (Psalm 9:1-2; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
Scripture says in many places that we are to “pray always” or to pray “without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, Ephesians 6:18, etc.). How can we possibly do that? What does that mean? Understanding the answers will make all the difference in the level of our relationship with our heavenly Father.
It does not mean that we must literally have our head bowed, eyes closed, while praying non-stop 24 hours a day! We all would have been fired from our jobs long ago if we lived like that. It means we go through each day with an active awareness of the presence of the Almighty. It means we take time to connect with Him dozens of times a day in quick short prayers.
We surely should connect with our Father first and last thing each day – especially in a formal prayer time on our knees. David and Daniel prayed three times a day in these formal type prayers (Psalm 55:17; Daniel 6:10, 13). In these prayers we praise Him, thank Him, ask for His forgiveness for where we fell short; we intercede for others, and we ask for the help we need as well. But we always praise and thank.
These times of prayer on our knees, I think of as “formal prayer times” and I think they are necessary. It is good for US to be on our knees before our Maker. It is good for US to confess our sins, to ask forgiveness, and then to praise and to intercede. That’s formal prayer time primarily. I recommend you be sure you are giving God this honor. Don’t fall for the teaching that it’s OK to JUST have quickie prayers while we shave or do dishes or drive to work on the freeway. We should have definite formal prayer times on our knees (if our knees and bodies allow for that) first as the foundation. THEN, to those times, we add the concept of “praying without ceasing”.
We’re told that Cornelius, the first Gentile convert, was a devout man who “prayed to God ALWAYS” (Acts 10:2). As a centurion, he had many responsibilities, so how could he possibly pray to God always?
So HOW do we “pray always”?
I believe it means going through the day with a keen awareness of the presence of God in your life. That will be easier to do if we started the day on a foundation of prayer, before we eat, before we go to work. It’s easier to do if you’ve consciously asked Him to help you “turn your heart” back to Him. After that, you’ll be getting nudged by His Spirit many times a day. You’re “hearing His voice” in many different ways, conversations and circumstances. So to me it means that all through the day we’re connecting with Father in dozens of quick short prayers. It’s like touching base with our Maker all through the day. If you’re not doing that already, you’ll be amazed how your life changes once you make a practice of calling on Father all through the day and into the night. He’s a FATHER! He LIKES hearing from His kids.
So think of “praying always” as a way to be walking and talking with God all day long. Always. Be saying silent prayers before and during important meetings. Lift up a brother or sister in Christ to heavenly realms in prayers several times a day, every day. Look up and just quietly ask Father to smooth out your paths for you, if things aren’t going well. Maybe you should have touched base many times before that point already! When feeling anxious, I like to look up and say something like, “There I go again. I don’t want it to be me – but to be YOU. I have no reason to worry or fret since you are with me. I have every reason to claim the victory, to shout the joyful triumphs, even long before I see the final outcome, knowing I walk with the King of the Universe!”
Our spirit should be in lock step with God’s Spirit. It should be like the cloud over the Israelites in their wilderness wanderings – when the Cloud moved, they moved. When it stood still, they stood still. We should be so responsive to God’s spirit moving in us that we are in lock step with HIS will, HIS desire, and HIS purpose. It’s when we let the “noise” of society, too much TV-facebook-smart phone-emails-texting-twitter-games, too many concerns and worries and things that busy us crowd out Father’s voice that it starts to diminish. If we are “in Him”, we will grow in the ability to harmonize His will into our lives, to subjugate our own desires and seek His pleasure in everything we do.
This harmony comes about largely by constantly connecting and checking in throughout the day. And that is also WHY we “pray without ceasing” – to get in harmony with God our Father. To hear His voice. To let Him hear ours. And to walk together in the Spirit.
*Condensed, with permission, from the author’s blog at lightontherock.org
Not all prayer is asking for something, but a great deal of it obviously is. When we do ask, do we pray mainly for our own physical and spiritual needs and concerns? There is no doubt that it is acceptable to pray for these things – we have Christ’s encouragement to do so – but that is only part of the picture we find in the words of Jesus and in the New Testament as a whole.
Jesus certainly commanded us to pray about our own needs. “Give us this day our daily bread” lies at the heart of the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:11), but we should never forget that all the petitions in that guide to prayer are for the needs of others – “us” – as well as our own.
Asking in Acts
If we continue in the New Testament and look at the Book of Acts, we find something very interesting. Acts continually speaks of prayer in the Church, but if we set aside the scriptures that simply tell us that the early church members prayed and we look only at verses telling us what the early believers were praying, in most translations we find only two verses in that book showing people praying for their own situations and twelve verses showing believers praying for the needs and welfare of others. This means that of the recorded prayers in Acts, some 83% are prayers on behalf of others rather than prayers for the individual who was offering the prayer.
If we have not thought about this topic before, the statistic may seem unexpected. Perhaps we would expect the ratio to be about 50/50 – prayer for others just as much as for ourselves. But the 83% prayer for others we find in Acts is a powerful statement of another way of looking at prayer – and the Book of Acts is not alone in taking this view.
Paul and Prayer
When we look at the writings of the apostle Paul, we find the principle corroborated. Paul speaks of prayer some 50 times in his epistles. Apart from non-specific examples, when we look at the nature of the prayers Paul mentions we find only three instances of praying for one’s own needs. Seven times Paul speaks of praying generally; but in some 40 of the 50 instances (80%) where he mentions specific things being prayed about, we find him speaking of praying for others or urging people to do likewise. For example, Paul tells us that he and his fellow workers prayed constantly for the spiritual needs of others:
“Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12).
And he urged others to continually do the same:
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should” (Ephesians 6:18-20, etc.).
So the pattern we found in Acts where we are told what people were praying for is repeated in the epistles of Paul where he so frequently tells what we should be praying for. These facts should speak to us. It is not a matter of attempting to establish Christian practice through statistics. It is simply acknowledging that of the prayers recorded and commanded in the New Testament Church, the great majority – somewhere around 80% – are prayers for others.
Applying a Principle
That’s why we can think of this fact as the 80% principle of what we ask for in prayer. It’s an estimated number with no claim to being correct to the third decimal place, but it’s a rounded number with a clear message. The 80% principle does not mean we should not pray for our own needs – and in some circumstances, of course, our own needs may be urgent and take full precedence in our thoughts. But the 80% principle opens a window for us to see how the early Church saw prayer, how Paul encouraged us to pray, and it gives added meaning to Jesus’ words that we pray for “us” in the plural.
We certainly don’t need to feel constrained to structure our prayers to a certain percentage in a certain way, but if we are growing more and more like the One to whom we are praying, the chances are that our prayers will become increasingly full of the needs of others and reflect our concern for them. If our prayers are growing in that direction and we begin to see the needs of others as usually greater than our own needs, we can trust that God will be pleased with our prayers – perhaps 100% pleased.
YOUR CALL: USING THE DIRECT PRIVATE LINE OF PRAYER
By R. Herbert, Tactical Belief Books, 2017
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When we think of prayer, many of our ideas may be more cultural than biblical. For example, different cultures hold their hands in different ways in prayer. But the examples of prayer we find in the Bible rarely speak of how the hands are held –and when they do it is usually to say that the praying person’s hands were outstretched to the heavens rather than in the manner with which most of us are familiar. How we extend our hearts in prayer is clearly more important than how we hold our hands.
In the same way, when we think of prayer we may think of closing our eyes, but this is not necessary or biblical. We can certainly pray with our eyes closed just as well as with them open, but the reverse is also just as true. In some parts of the world, where Christianity is outlawed and punishable by severe penalties, believers routinely pray with their eyes open to avoid unnecessary arrest and punishment.
In fact, praying with open eyes was probably the norm in biblical times. On two occasions when Jesus prayed to the Father, we are told that he looked up to heaven. In the first instance he was giving thanks: “Then Jesus looked up and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me’” (John 11:41), and in the second he was making a request: “After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father … Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you” (John 17:1). Interestingly, the only other time a praying person’s eyes are mentioned in the New Testament is in the story of the repentant tax collector who was so distraught that when he prayed “… He would not even look up to heaven” (Luke 18:13), indicating that looking up to heaven would have been the normal way to pray.
There is a great deal of corroborating evidence to show that prayer in the Bible and in the early Church usually involved praying with open eyes, but acceptable prayer has nothing to do with whether our eyes are open or closed – any more than how we hold our hands. Sometimes we may wish to close our eyes in order to not be distracted by things happening around us, but often we may prefer to keep our eyes open to see that for which we are giving thanks or to feel a closer connection with the One who is “near to all who call on him” (Psalm 145:18).
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