Pornography, the Brain, and Happiness

Pornography, the Brain, and Happiness

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Many users of pornography do not understand that like drugs, pornography does have physical, measurable, negative effects on the human brain.  Most medical studies confirming this fact have been conducted with men, though there is clear evidence that women can also be affected.

Simply put, sexually explicit material triggers “mirror neurons” in the brain. These are the neurons involved in mimicking behavior and in the case of pornography, the mirror neuron system triggers arousal in the brain, which leads to growing sexual tension and a corresponding desire for release. The problem, according to Professor William M. Struthers, a psychologist at Wheaton College, is that “ … this leads to hormonal and neurological consequences, which bind [the man] to the object he is focusing on.” Pornography thus enslaves its users to its images in the sense that the biological response intended to bond a man and woman are transferred, thus loosening the bond between them and forming a bond with the pornography itself. 

But this is only the beginning.  In men, a primary chemical involved in sexual arousal which is affected by pornography use is dopamine, and it is well known that dopamine plays a major role in reward-driven learning. Many studies have shown that rewarded behaviors increase the level of dopamine transmission in the brain (the basis of addictions to drugs such as cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine which act directly on the dopamine system). Dopamine production peaks in the brain when an individual is exposed to stimuli which are novel – especially if the stimuli are sexual. This is why pornography users become trapped in endlessly seeking new images – because they have trained themselves to be unsatisfied with the same stimulus.

As a result, viewing erotic images of numerous individuals can actually trigger more dopamine production than sex with an actual partner. In this way, pornography leads to a psychological addiction that teaches the brain that images are more satisfying – and the user becomes, in turn, less satisfied with his or her real partner (a process known to psychologists and ethnologists as the “Coolidge effect,” which affects mammalian males and to some extent females). With individuals not in sexual relationships the addiction is still firmly formed, and sexual relations within eventual marriage are doomed to prove less satisfying and less likely to hold the relationship together.

One of the final destructive effects of this cycle is that the overstimulation of the psychological reward process which occurs with repeated pornography-stimulated dopamine production creates actual desensitization; the brain doesn’t respond as much as it used to do and the individual actually feels less reward from pleasure. Over time, that same desensitization causes porn users to have to work ever harder to accomplish feelings of satisfaction through more, more frequent, or more extreme sexual stimuli. The cycle is endlessly ongoing; and the more porn is used, the more numb the brain becomes.

Telling users that pornography debases or exploits women (although completely true) often has little effect because  users are usually into porn for self-centered gratification which is elevated above the happiness of others; but porn users are themselves being harmed. A University of Sydney study found that those using porn regularly were more likely to have severe social and relationship problems and were more likely to lose their jobs, their relationships, and to get in trouble with the law. But if a user can understand what is actually happening to his or her “brain on porn,” it can help the person to realize that the happiness which is ultimately and most severely compromised by porn is their own.  


Hezekiah: The King’s Last Enemy

Hezekiah: The King’s Last Enemy


Hezekiah is often remembered as the best king in the checkered history of the divided monarchy of Judah and Israel.  While a great many of the successors of David and Solomon turned from true worship to the pagan religions of the nations around them, Hezekiah is remembered for his faith and faithfulness:

“He trusted in the LORD, the God of Israel, so that there was none like him among all the kings of Judah after him, nor among those who were before him. For he held fast to the LORD. He did not depart from following him, but kept the commandments that the LORD commanded Moses. And the LORD was with him; wherever he went out, he prospered” (2 Kings 18:5).

We remember not only the story of God’s healing of Hezekiah (2 Kings 20:1-6), but also numerous other details of the king’s reign, such as  his successful destruction of pagan idolatry and other figurative and literal enemies including the story of how God defeated the Assyrians on Hezekiah’s behalf when they attacked Jerusalem (2 Kings 19:32-36). He even survived, at least temporarily, the enemy of death (2 Kings 20:1).  All these events show a Hezekiah who was truly an individual who followed God and who was blessed in being able to overcome his enemies.

Yet there was one enemy which appears to have remained, that even Hezekiah was apparently unable to overcome.  A final undefeated enemy is evident in the record of Hezekiah’s last years.  When the king of Babylon sent diplomatic messengers to Hezekiah, the king unwisely showed the Babylonians every part of his kingdom and its treasures. We do not know whether this was the result of pride or just lack of strategic wisdom, but as a result the prophet Isaiah warned Hezekiah that this foolish action would result in the Babylonians eventually attacking Judah and destroying Jerusalem (2 Kings 20:12-18).

It is in Hezekiah’s  reply to this word of God that we see what was perhaps the king’s last undefeated enemy: “The word of the Lord you have spoken is good,” Hezekiah replied. For he thought, ‘Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?’” (2 Kings 20:19).   The king’s words seem humble and accepting on the surface, but his recorded thoughts reveal an incredible degree of selfishness: that despite the horrors he had been told he had brought upon his country, Hezekiah’s attitude was “Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?” Unlike the incident in which the king turned to God in weeping supplication regarding a problem  that applied to him directly, when he had unwittingly triggered disaster for others,  Hezekiah’s reaction was one of selfish lack of concern – of “Why should I care?” – of “Whatever!”

It is clear that despite his many righteous deeds and the many enemies he overcame, Hezekiah’s last recorded enemy – the reality of his own unconquered selfishness – was one he did not overcome. The biblical record of this king’s reign essentially ends at this point, with Hezekiah’s thoughts recorded as a poignant lesson to us all. Whatever the victories we may have accomplished, they do not matter much in terms of the fulfillment of God’s purpose for us if we are not dedicated to overcoming the enemy of selfishness. Hezekiah’s story should remind us all not to let our lives – or even a single day – end in an attitude of “Whatever!” 

What the Cavemen Learned

What the Cavemen Learned

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I’m not talking about prehistoric Neanderthal or Cro-Magnon “cavemen” here – I’m actually thinking of two men of God who at different times in biblical history both learned important lessons at the back of a cave.

These men were both successful in their own fields – one a warrior and one a man of religion.  Both were used to life around palaces and nice homes, but both men lost everything they had and fled in depression and fear for their lives – to the back of a cave.

The first man was King David. 1 Samuel 22 tells us that when the jealous Saul stepped up his campaign to kill the young shepherd-warrior, David finally fled to a mountain cave where he holed up in depression, frustration and fear.  The other man was Elijah, and in 1 Kings 19 we see that when the wicked Jezebel threatened his life, Elijah also “caved” under the pressure and ran for many miles, to the back of a cave on Mount Horheb – where he stayed, apparently in fear, frustration and anger.

There are times in our lives when psychologically we find ourselves in the back of a cave, too. We understand that some depression is physically caused and must be treated as such, but sometimes we find ourselves in the dark cave of depression or despair due to discouragement and difficulties.  This is because fleeing to the inner parts of our minds is a very human reaction and sometimes seems like the only way to survive. Unfortunately, it becomes easy to stay there. It’s not that we are comfortable in the cave of depression, but the longer we stay there, the harder it becomes to leave.  That’s why in both biblical stories of God’s servants who fled to physical caves, the first thing we see in the way God turned these situations around was that he commanded both men to leave the cave they were in.

In David’s case, God sent a prophet to David to specifically tell him he had spent enough time in the cave and that it was time to leave.  “… The prophet Gad said to David, ‘Do not stay in the [cave] stronghold’” (1 Samuel 22:5), so, uncomfortable as it was to do, at God’s command David left the cave. We see exactly the same with Elijah.  “The Lord said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord …’” (1 Kings 19:11).  God patiently listened to the reasons Elijah gave for his depression, anger and fear, but he nevertheless firmly told him to come out of the cave. It probably wasn’t psychologically easy for them, but both men obeyed in faith. They may not have seen a reason to leave the cave, yet once they realized it was God’s will they obeyed.

So, God understands when we sometimes flee to the cave, but he is just as clear in telling us we must not stay there. And God goes a step further – as the wise Physician he is, he prescribes what we need in order to stay out of the cave. In both the stories of David and of Elijah, God prescribed exactly the same spiritual medicine.  When he instructed David to leave the cave, we see the next thing he did was to tell David to go help the people of Keilah who were being attacked by the Philistines: “Go, attack the Philistines and save Keilah” (1 Samuel 23:1-2). And when Elijah obediently stepped out of his cave, God immediately told him to go to Damascus and instructed him: “… When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat …” (1 Kings 19:15-16).

God doesn’t just tell us to pull ourselves together and leave the cave of depression. He tells us to leave – and to go help someone who needs help.  Finding ourselves in a “cave” is something that even some of the greatest of God’s servants have experienced, but the way out was the same for them as it is for us.  We overcome this problem only when we realize God doesn’t want us to live in the cave and that his prescription for cave fever is often to go help someone.  It’s as though God knows that the only way for us to effectively stay out of the cave is not just to get busy, but to get busy serving others.

That is how God helps us get our focus off our own problems – by getting us to focus on and help others whose problems are so often so much worse than our own.


Days We Soar … and Days We Don’t

Days We Soar … and Days We Don’t

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… those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”
(Isaiah 40:31).





Isaiah’s wonderful lines regarding the renewing of our strength carry an even more encouraging message than we might immediately recognize.   First, Isaiah compares our strengthening to the flight of eagles. Eagles have very large wings in relation to their body size – which doesn’t make them better “flappers” for flying,  it makes them able to soar on air currents that carry them long distances and to great heights.  They are wonderfully designed for this soaring flight and often spend only a couple of minutes out of any given hour actually flying on their own strength.  In fact, without the air currents that lift and speed the eagle, it is actually not an impressive flyer.  It requires a great amount of energy to flap those great wings and lift the large body, and it is as the eagle utilizes the power available to it from air currents that it soars and its strength is literally renewed and multiplied. 

The analogy for those “who hope in the Lord” is obvious. We may be able to accomplish a certain amount on our own strength, but if we choose to accept the power of “the wind” (Acts 2:2), our strength is renewed and expanded and we can rise to much greater heights.  But Isaiah doesn’t stop there.  After comparing God’s strengthening of us to the flight of the eagle, he speaks about the strengthening of those who run and those who walk.  These are clearly descending levels of strength and apparent accomplishment.  Soaring is better than running, running better than walking. 

We all have days when we feel that we spiritually soar with God’s help, others when we feel we are not that high, but are moving along steadily – running, as it were; and yet other days when we feel we are just plodding pilgrims slowly putting one foot in front of another. Some days, pain, worry, fatigue and failure take their toll on us, and we just don’t seem as spiritually energized.   But that’s doubtless Isaiah’s point in the descending order of soaring, running and walking – God promises to strengthen us however our day is going.

In his excellent book If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat, John Ortberg  makes the point that it is natural and not wrong that we have such widely different days. Jesus knew what it was to receive God’s strength to do His work on soaring days – days of healings and other miracles. He also must have experienced slower days when he had to cope with doubting and unbelieving friends as well as dealing with the hostility of enemies. And finally, Christ knew what it was like to need the strength even to walk – as he carried the heavy stake on which he was to be crucified.   The truth is, if we seek God and stay close to Him, we can often soar – but we can’t always soar.  Some days we soar and some days we just feel sore.  As Ortberg perceptively concludes, sometimes it is just important that we keep going despite our weakness.  In the last analysis sometimes it takes more character to walk than it does to soar.  In those situations, Ortberg reminds us, maybe God prizes our walking even more than our running or soaring.

Hot-Button Issues

Hot-Button Issues

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All societies have their hot-button issues. Here in the US it might be immigration, minimum wage,  health care or a number of other things.  Whatever the topic, however, these hot-button issues share the commonality that they are not usually topics brought up in casual conversation with people we do not know well.  People learn that society functions more smoothly when we don’t discuss one of these issues in the process of going for a dental checkup or picking up our dry cleaning.

Nevertheless, because these issues are often not discussed openly and widely and do not affect everyone, they often fester under the surface – breeding resentment and frustration for many. Nationally, it often seems as though there is little we can do to change this situation. One encouraging fact, however, is that since the economy has worsened to the degree it has and affected so many people, we now find it a widespread enough problem that we can easily discuss this topic with relative strangers – with individuals voicing what they feel might help without offense or anger.

All marriages have their hot button issues.  They might be finances, children, in-laws or several other topics, but married people all too often learn that things go more smoothly when we don’t discuss finances over the breakfast table or the in-laws as we drive off on vacation.  But because these issues are so often argued about, then swept under the rug as acknowledged hot-button issues, they may linger at the back of our minds and bring resentment and frustration.

The answer, however, is always to talk these things through.  The time and place need to be chosen carefully, and ground rules should always be agreed upon before the discussion begins.  We especially need to be able to agree that mutual respect trumps any individual issue and we need to be able to agree to disagree, to find compromise, to work together as much as possible.  Unlike national hot-button issues which may only affect certain groups or be championed by them, family hot-buttons affect everyone in the family and need bilateral, husband and wife cooperation.

The good news is that even though our national economic problems are far from solved, we have learned to talk about them and in many cases to focus on what can be done about those problems in areas where improvement might be possible.  For marriages, this principle is even better news. By acknowledging the problems and talking about them, we have hope of improvement.  The essential point is that we need to learn to talk about – and work to defuse our family hot-buttons rather than ignoring them or pressing them.  That’s not only how bomb disposal works, but also how marriages grow.

On Not Rushing to Anger

All the Gospels tell the story of Jesus casting the money changers and animal sellers from the temple.  It’s a powerful story.  As you remember, when He found people keeping animals in the temple and making profit in various ways He reacted dramatically.  He overturned the tables of those who changed the common Greek and Roman money for Jewish coins (which were acceptable  for Temple offerings) and used a whip to drive out the animals and birds being sold there (for sacrifices), saying: “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” (John 2:16).

The picture painted in the Gospels is clearly one of Jesus displaying righteous anger at the way in which the temple was being polluted and commercially used, and at least one modern portrayal  of the story depicts Jesus as seeing the situation and flying into a sudden and furious anger.  It may be easy to imagine it that way, but the  Gospels actually show that nothing could be further from the truth. Mark’s account is particularly interesting in that it gives us extra information which shows that Jesus did not just act with natural  impulsive anger, but with a controlled anger based on prior thought.  

Alone of the Gospels, Mark adds this fascinating detail to the temple cleansing narrative.  After his humble but triumphant entry into Jerusalem, as recorded by the other Gospel writers, Mark tells us that “Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts. He looked around at everything, but since it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the Twelve” (Mark 11:11).  Then Mark continues, “The next day … On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple courts and began driving out those who were buying and selling there” (Mark 11:12-15).  It is clear from Mark’s addition that Jesus must have already seen the sellers and money changers in the Temple courts, but He chose to return to Bethany for the night – doubtless thinking and praying about what He had seen – before returning the following day to cleanse the temple. 

Jesus’ driving out of the animals and the money changers and salesmen was clearly the opposite of hasty, impulsive anger, and John’s Gospel adds yet a further detail that also shows this.   “In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money.  So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts…” (John 2:14-15).  The Greek indicates that the “whip” used by Jesus was made from the rushes used as the bedding for the animals and also indicates that he “plaited” the whip – combining multiple rushes into a serviceable whip – something that would have taken some time.  Once again we see that unlike the common picture of Jesus seeing the money changers and instantly driving them out in great anger, when He did return to the temple He actually took time to plait or weave the whip he used. 

So Christ’s behavior in this circumstance was the opposite of rushing to anger and provides a clear lesson for us.  Even in the most justifiable instances of provocation, we need to think and pray about how we should respond (James 1:19-20).  Rather than rushing to anger,  we too need to take the time to figuratively plait the rushes.