Credit to Whom It Is Due: I’d Like to Thank …

Credit to Whom It Is Due: I’d Like to Thank …

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Every year Hollywood, the US, and even many around the world turn to the Academy Awards ceremony to see credit being given to leading actors, actresses, directors, producers and a host of others who work behind the scenes. 

Not only are the awards intended to give credit, but those receiving them frequently take a great amount of time, while basking in the spotlight, to thank everyone who supported their work – and if you have ever watched them, you know that sometimes means everyone.

This giving of credit is all well and good to a point, though it can often seem artificial under the stage lights when we compare how infrequently we tend to give credit to others in real life situations. 

But there is plenty of biblical precedent for giving appreciative credit to others  in our daily lives.  A great example is found in 1 Samuel  where David insisted that all who had helped him in a military campaign should receive credit and proper reward.  Speaking to his followers who  wanted to give credit only to those directly involved in the fighting, we find:

“David replied ‘No, my brothers … The share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as that of him who went down to the battle. All will share alike.’ David made this a statute and ordinance for Israel from that day to this” (1 Samuel 30:23-25).

Not only did David credit all who had taken part in the campaign, but also, when he reached Ziklag, he sent some of the captured goods to the elders of Judah in recognition of their support, saying, “Here is a gift for you from the plunder of the LORD’s enemies” (1 Samuel 30:26).  Further, Samuel tells us, David sent some of the spoil to a great number of towns in the kingdom recognizing their help and support. The list is long (and almost Oscar like!) as David gives credit to:

“…those who were in Bethel, Ramoth Negev and Jattir;  to those in Aroer, Siphmoth, Eshtemoa  and Rakal; to those in the towns of the Jerahmeelites and the Kenites; to those in Hormah, Bor Ashan, Athak  and Hebron …” (1 Samuel 30:30).

Notice that even this long list is not complete as vs. 31 adds “and to those in all the other places where he and his men had roamed.”     

So David used the opportunity to give credit not only to all who had helped him directly or indirectly in his campaign, but also to all of his friends and supporters who were  not even involved – but who had supported him to that time. 

It’s a point worth remembering.  David gave credit widely and generously. It was clearly part of his character and something we can remember in our own relationships with the people with whom we live and work.  There is also another side to this.  If we conscientiously pay attention to giving credit to those who have helped us or worked alongside us in any of life’s endeavors, we will perhaps be more likely to be aware of, and to give credit to, the One who so often helps us behind the scenes and to whom credit is always due!

Hot-Button Issues

Hot-Button Issues

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All societies have their hot-button issues. Here in the US it might be immigration, minimum wage,  health care or a number of other things.  Whatever the topic, however, these hot-button issues share the commonality that they are not usually topics brought up in casual conversation with people we do not know well.  People learn that society functions more smoothly when we don’t discuss one of these issues in the process of going for a dental checkup or picking up our dry cleaning.

Nevertheless, because these issues are often not discussed openly and widely and do not affect everyone, they often fester under the surface – breeding resentment and frustration for many. Nationally, it often seems as though there is little we can do to change this situation. One encouraging fact, however, is that since the economy has worsened to the degree it has and affected so many people, we now find it a widespread enough problem that we can easily discuss this topic with relative strangers – with individuals voicing what they feel might help without offense or anger.

All marriages have their hot button issues.  They might be finances, children, in-laws or several other topics, but married people all too often learn that things go more smoothly when we don’t discuss finances over the breakfast table or the in-laws as we drive off on vacation.  But because these issues are so often argued about, then swept under the rug as acknowledged hot-button issues, they may linger at the back of our minds and bring resentment and frustration.

The answer, however, is always to talk these things through.  The time and place need to be chosen carefully, and ground rules should always be agreed upon before the discussion begins.  We especially need to be able to agree that mutual respect trumps any individual issue and we need to be able to agree to disagree, to find compromise, to work together as much as possible.  Unlike national hot-button issues which may only affect certain groups or be championed by them, family hot-buttons affect everyone in the family and need bilateral, husband and wife cooperation.

The good news is that even though our national economic problems are far from solved, we have learned to talk about them and in many cases to focus on what can be done about those problems in areas where improvement might be possible.  For marriages, this principle is even better news. By acknowledging the problems and talking about them, we have hope of improvement.  The essential point is that we need to learn to talk about – and work to defuse our family hot-buttons rather than ignoring them or pressing them.  That’s not only how bomb disposal works, but also how marriages grow.

The Taste of Honey

How do your words taste?   Normally we would say that words have sound rather than taste, of course, but there is a difference between the actual sound of a word and the effect it has on its hearers.  We get by in English by saying  “that doesn’t sound too good” when words have a negative or disturbing impact, but perhaps “taste” makes more sense in such situations.

Words can certainly taste good:  “How sweet are your words to my taste,” David wrote – “sweeter than honey to my mouth!” (Psalm 119:103), but words don’t always taste sweet at all. Recently, I couldn’t help hearing a parent berating her child in a store, for what appeared to be a very minor thing.  It wasn’t just the  words that were used, but also the tone and the obvious effect on the child and on others in the store – which was something like tasting a mouthful of vinegar.

That is something Job discovered when he was subjected to the negative, doubting and finally judgmental words of the “friends” who supposedly came to comfort him.  Notice what Job says in this regard after tasting a few helpings of his friends’ words:  “Does not the ear test words as the palate tastes food?”  (Job 12:11).   Job is confirming what most of us come to know as we go through life – a person’s words can truly have a good effect on us, or they can be something that leaves the equivalent of a bad taste in our mouths.  

It is something we all should consider.  Bad “tasting” words don’t just include curses and profanity, they can be any words that pull down or discourage others.  We may not mean them that way, but unless we think about the effects of our words, we may not realize what they are doing.  On the other hand, restrained and carefully chosen words can help those who need guidance or encouragement.   The proverb that tells us “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Proverbs 25:11) really makes this point.  The original Hebrew may actually mean “apricots” rather than apples, but the specific fruit hardly matters (unless you greatly prefer one over the other!). 

When our words  build up and encourage rather than just  convey raw facts  – or worse yet, pull down those around us –  then they might indeed be said to taste like honey or sweet, ripe fruit.    It’s something to remember.  Next time you are tempted to say something negative or critical, think about the fact that the words we use  have a “taste” that affects others by building them up or pulling them down. Only you can decide what the taste will be – whether your words will encourage or discourage, whether they will have the taste of  vinegar or the taste of honey.